THE UNTITLED
by Freak Apple
Summary: Following the tradition of never EVER giving the Animorphs a break, I have concocted a new screwed up adventure. Something fishy is going on downtown and two Animorphs must face. . .gasp each OTHER! Ch.10 is up, I swear I didnt write it. THEY did ::poin
1. MARCO AND RACHEL'S EEEEEEEEEK!

DISCLAIMER: I've written over 50 disclaimers. . .you'd think after all that effort they'd just give me the Animorph out of pity already?

NOTE: Alright, Freak Apple is back, ready to annoy and confuse! **rubs hands together** Okay, first off, this story, like all my other stories, takes place between Animorphs #30-34. Cause in #35 Marco's dad gets remarried and we can't have that. . .yet. Actually think of this as missing book #34 ½. And as you can see, I didn't title my story yet. After 2 failed attempts at titling my other fics, I've learned now that I SUCK at it. So if you have any ideas as we go along, feel free to tell me. Well, if you dare, read on!

Marco – 

I picked up the strange orange flower and held it up. Fire shot from it, searing the enemy in front of me. I watched it's health dwindle. The creature writhed in pain, unable to escape the flames. It would be over soon. Then I would be able to lift him in the air and be the winner. The glorious winner.

"Marco, what the hell you're cheating!" Jake yelled at me, frantically mashing the buttons on my Gamecube controller.

"You're the one who wanted all items available." I said, making my character, Link, throw aside the fireflower and grab Jake's Starfox. I flung him off the platform and he zoomed off the screen.

"Crap." Jake muttered.

"I told you StarFox sucks." I reminded him. "Link can kick anyone's butt." 

"Shut up."

It was a Friday night and unusually, I didn't have a date. Okay, so I didn't have one last week either. Or the week before that. Or every week I could remember, for that matter. Jake and I were sitting on a popcorn-littered carpet playing Super Smash Bros on my new Gamecube, which Jake still thought wasn't as good as Playstation 2. Obviously he did not realize the wonder that is Zelda.

Anyway, we were taking a well-deserved break from fighting a certain body-stealing, slimy, slave-driving slugs bent on conquering Earth. You know them as the yeerks. We know them as big huge pains in all of our asses. "We" being six kids with death wishes. You know the deal, so why bother with the details, right? 

I continued to wreak havoc on Jake's self-esteem by repeatedly beating him down with my superior gaming abilities.

"Give up yet?" I asked, enjoying the look on his face as I tossed him off screen once again.

"When Cassie eats beef." Jake muttered. He chose StarFox as his character again. The boy never learns.

My dad walked in, hair shiny, clean-shaven, and smelling all Calvin-Kleiny. He tentatively rolled up his sleeves.

"What do you think, guys? This still in?" he said, showing us the rolled up sleeves. They revealed excessive arm hair. I looked at Jake and he shook his head. 

"Nope. Leave them down." I told him. "Unless you want her to know her to know you're really a balding gorilla." Jake laughed.

"Balding, huh? Just remember you got my genes, pal." Dad rolled his sleeves back down and proceeded to put on his fancy jacket.

"Don't remind me." I pretended to scowl. My dad and I joke around a lot. Last year he was still moping around after my mom's supposed death and life got difficult for me. But a couple months ago he got his act together and started working again. Now he was a pretty respectable computer engineer and he moved us into a nice house closer to Jake's neighborhood. He also re-entered the dating scene, with my blessing.

"You have a date tonight or something?" Jake asked, his eyes still fixated on the TV screen.

"Yup. How bout you guys. You just sitting in for the night?"

"Looks like it." I said.

"Oh come on. Marco, I thought you had my genes." Dad laughed and began his search for the ever-elusive car keys.

"Yeah, what's up with that. My old man gets the ladies and I just get Jake."

Jake made a face. He promptly picked up the Megaton hammer and flailed it around, KO'ing my Link.

"Hey!"

"Pay attention, girl-repeller." Jake smirked.

Dad recovered his keys and straightened his shirt again. "Well, see you guys later. Don't let me find lipstick on the glasses and some girl's underwear under the sofa cushions when I get back." He warned half-jokingly.

"So who's the lady?" I asked, making a bomb and aiming right for StarFox's head.

"Oh she's really nice. Pretty. Blond. Gorgeous. Smart, she's a lawyer. Funny. Quick-witted. Did I mention gorgeous? She's what you kids call 'one hot chica.'" He said with a grin. This lady reminded me of Rachel, Jake's cousin and our resident Amazon warrior. "I'm taking her to the cineplex downtown."

"Hot chica, huh?" I said, succeeding in killing Jake again. "Does this hot chica have a name?"

"Naomi." He said on his way out. "Later guys! My cell is on, and remember I'm at the cineplex if you really need me." 

"Be back by midnight, or you're grounded!" I called back. I heard the lock click and the car backed out of the driveway.

I returned my full attention to the game and threw a mine directly at the stationary StarFox. It blew him away.

"Hey Jake, that was too easy. What's up?" I turned to him.

He was staring at the door in shock.

"NAOMI!? Blond lawyer? NAOMI!?" Jake sputtered, as if that word combination meant something to me.

"Dude, what have you been smoking?"

"Marco, Naomi is Rachel's mom. My Aunt Naomi. Idiot." 

I froze. My tongue suddenly got thick in my mouth. Jake saw this as a perfect oppurtunity to grab a ray gun and shoot me off the screen.

"No way." I managed to say. I still couldn't move.

The doorbell rang. I ignored it, still reeling over what my dad was doing to me, and all the horrible things that could result. Jake got up and answered the door. Soon he returned with a friend, Erek the Chee. Erek was a good guy, but every word out of his holographic mouth usually had me screaming in fear a couple hours later.

"Hi. Marco?" he asked. 

"Rachel's mom. . .?" I mumbled increduously. Erek looked at me curiously.

"He's just had a bit of a shock." Jake explained with a snicker. He found this funny.

"Oh. Okay then I have some news. I met with Cassie already and her parents are out. We should all meet at the barn." He announced. Then he turned on his way to leave. I heard him whisper to Jake "Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah, he's fine. Trust me, it'll get infinitely worse when we meet Rachel."

- - -

"WHAT!?" Rachel raged. She glared at me like a hungry dragon. :This is YOUR fault!"

"Me!? What did I do!?"

We were all gathered in Cassie's barn for our little briefing with Erek. Rachel's sisters, Jordan and Sara, were in Cassie's living room because there was no one to baby-sit them while Rachel was here and their mom was, well, out. Everyone seemed to think our little situation was pretty funny. Cassie was stifling giggles as she shoved a pill up a hawk's rear. Tobias watched and winced in imagined pain from the rafters. Jake had his arms crossed and was facing the door, but I could see his shoulders bobbing in silent laughter. Ax just stood in his awkward human form looking confused. Rachel was pacing in front of me, raving.

"My mom said she was going out with some studly computer engineer!" Rachel said in disbelief.

"Hey, for your information my dad is almost as hot as I am." I said. 

Tobias decided to join in the fun. Hey, maybe if they get married Rachel and Marco would be - 

"STOP!" I cried.

"Tobias, if you continue that thought I will personally pluck you." Rachel threatened.

Cassie snorted and Tobias laughed.

"I do not see the problem. Both Rachel's mother and Marco's father lack mates, correct?" Ax asked, clearly not understanding the situation.

Even if it's not blood, they're gonna be related. And they might have to live together, Ax. Tobias explained.

"Ah, that may cause a problem. Muh. Muh."

The thought had not occurered to me. Living with Rachel. I had just been worried about my dad and being RELATED to Rachel.

"They might want us to live together!" I croaked.

"We'd have to. . .spend time with each other." Rachel added with a hint of fear in her voice.. We both cringed as if someone had pinched us really hard. Jake and Cassie lost it and they started to cackle loudly. Cassie had to lean on Jake's shoulder, lest she fall on the dirty floor and roll around in laughter.

"Um, you guys? We have some issues that we need to talk about." Erek appeared in our doorway looking amused. Jake tried to stop grinning.

"Okay. We're listening. What's going on?" 

The Chee were able to pass as controllers, giving us lots of valuable information so that we could plan attacks and rush screaming to our deaths. 

"Well we're not sure what it's significance is, but we've just discovered that the new Sherman cineplex downtown is almost all completely operated by the yeerks. Pretty much every employee there is a controller. We suspect nothing good." Erek said.

"Let's go then." Rachel said. "Find out what's going on."

I put my hand over my chest and feigned a heart attack. "Be still my heart. Rachel doesn't want to smash in, guns a-blazing?"

"Well, I suggest something be done quickly, because the Sherman cineplex is making its grand opening in 15 minutes.

"Fifteen minutes!?" Cassie repeated.

"Fifteen."

"Wait, were is this new cineplex you're talking about?" I asked.

"Downtown."

I looked at Jake and he realized it too. "My dad is going there!"

"What? He's supposed to be taking my mom – " slowly it dawned on Rachel. Her eyes narrowed. "Let's go."

She started to morph into an owl.

"We do not have a plan." Ax said.

"Screw the pleeefffff," Rache;'s mouth disappeared, replaced by the short beak of an owl. I'm getting my mom!

"I'm with Xena." I said, starting my own owl morph.

"What about Jordan and Sara?" Cassie said, pointing at the door leading to her house. "There's no one to watch them."

Rachel looked around. Her gaze locked on Erek. He stepped back. "Nooo way, I can't – "

Please Erek. Jordan is still going through her phases so she's going to be pretty moody. She's not allowed to use the phone today. If she gets all smart and sarcastic, ignore her. Keep an eye on Sara at all times. You better hope she takes a nap because she just drank a gallon of Nesquik before we got here. She doesn't eat anything red. If they get hungry just dig in Cassie's cupboard til you find some Mac n Cheese. Jordan's allergic to strawberries, wool, and some air fresheners. Sara's allergic to anything with fur. Keep them both away from glass, anything breakable, anything flammable, anything long and pointed, anything heavy, anything valuable, and any of the animals. You know CPR, the heimlich maneuver, and standard first aid, right?

Erek looked as if he were just asked to act as bait on a shark-fishing boat. I felt sorry for him. What was my dad getting me into?

"I-"

Thanks! Rachel flew out the barn door, headed for downtown. The rest of us had to hustle to catch up with her.

Don't worry, Erek. I babysat for them three times and it was fine. Just keep them away from golf clubs if you value your ankles. Cassie called back.

I saw Erek's holographic face grow pale. 

You know, if my dad thinks I'm going to babysit just cause he's dating your mom, he better think again. I told Rachel. Because who knows what that will do to my social life?

What social life? Your daily conversations with the Teletubbies? Jake quipped.

Rachel laughed. Anyway, I wouldn't think you could handle it.

What?

Dude, I almost had my arm ripped open by flying glass because of them. Jake said.

And I couldn't walk for a month after babysitting them. Cassie added.

Jeez, what are they, rottweilers? I asked.

Well they're related to Rachel, what did you think? Tobias joked.

Oh shut up. Rachel said in a warm kind of way that she saved for when talking to Tobias. It made me want to puke. 

Aww, Xena doesn't get mad at her lil Birdie-Boy?

Before Rachel could cause me some bodily pain, we found ourselves hovering over the cineplex parking lot. It was packed, but my excellent owl eyes spotted my dad's way too shiny hair.

There they are. I announced. I saw my dad not-so-subtley put an arm around Rachel's mom, who actually was pretty darn hot. 

Eww. Run away, mom. Kick him. Rachel urged.

Let the madness begin.

MUAHAHAHA! So true, Marky-O. Let the madness begin! Okay that was chapter 1. . .I had myself a bit of fun like I usually do with first chapters. Next one coming soon, I prom-diddly-omise! Review honestly, 'cause my mommy said lying is bad.


	2. THE POOP BRIGADE

DISCLAIMER: Anyone else think I'm losin my touch with the screwed up disclaimers? I think I'll need more time now to think one up. In the meantime please accept my boring, no-effort disclaimer: Me no own Animorphs, ya heard?

NOTE: Jeez, you guys flooded me with reviews so that that I couldn't do my usual ritual of me being my own first reviewer! Now you done jinxed my entire story. Now I don't FEEL like continuing. Hmph. Hee hee, just playin. But for real, I think there's a curse hanging over this story now, beware!

F-RECAP-LE: _Let's see, we find out Rachel's mom and Marco's dad are dating **gasp** (yeah yeah, okay, the shock must've worn off by now, huh?) Anyway, they're supposed to have their date at the new movie theater downtown. Unofortunately, Erek informs our 'Morphies that it is almost completely run by the yeerks. Dangit, what's a 'Morphy to do??_

Rachel - 

What do we do? I asked. My mom and Marco's dad were halfway through the parking lot, chatting like old friends. I watched in horror as Marco's dad started to lower his hand from my mom's back ever so slowly. Oh my god, Marco, call off your dad!

Woo-hoo, sly dog! Marco whooped. I fought back the urge to make him plummet to his death.

That's sick. That's disgusting. That's just - 

Rachel, calm down. Marco was just joking. Cassie said.

I knew that. The idiot thrived off pissing me off. Actually no he didn't. If he actually did, he'd be like 20 feet tall by now. A lot more than his what, 3 feet?

Hee hee. Marco chuckled sheepishly.

Alright, you have your fun. But when they have kids. . .

OH GOD! Marco cried. Don't say that!. No. No no no.

They'll probably do it in your house. Since my mom's bed is really small. You might walk in on them having - 

STOP! Marco, Jake, and Ax yelled.

Okay, okay, jeez. Little boys can't take their own medicine? I laughed.

I do not think I am ready yet to be informed specifically how humans conceive children. Ax said with a blush in his voice.

Focus, people. They're on line already. Jake informed us. I looked. They were 7th on the line. We had to get them out of there.

We should call them! I said suddenly. My mom told me to call her if we needed her back home.

What is your phone in your feathery little pocket or something? Marco asked.

Shut up - 

Guys! Tobias interrupted. How bout a payphone?

We need change for that. Cassie said. We hovered helplessly above the theater, wracking our brains for ideas. At least most of us were. Ax was eyeing a Sno-caps wrapping on the ground. Luckily, owl's wings are completely silent, so we didn't catch attention. My first impulse was to cause a diversion, but I didn't want to hurt my mom. We had to find a safe way that guaranteed everyone's safety.

Poop! Marco declared suddenly.

What the hell? I demanded.

Poop on your mom! Then she'd have to go home and change! Marco clarified.

You're kidding. Tobias said.

No, that might work! Cassie said. Rachel's mom is as picky about being clean as Rachel is!

Hey. I said. Why my mom? Let's poop on your dad.

My dad won't care. He'll just whip off his jacket. Marco said.

I thought about it for a few seconds. Finding no way out of it, I sighed and gave in. Oh fine. Poop on my mom.

Bet you never thought you'd ever say THAT. Marco said almost joyfully. 

We flew above the ticket line, were my mom stood 3rd in line. Marco's dad still had his arm around her. They were way to close for comfort. My mother laughed at whatever stupid thing Marco's dad said. She really looked pretty happy. Happier than I'd seen her in a while. Maybe it was all right if. . . I shook it off.

No way, that's gross. I thought to myself.

What? Rachel, it's the only way. Jake said. 

I hadn't realized I was talking out loud. Oh, um, yeah. I was just. . .never mind.

Alright, ready. . .aim. . .FIRE! Marco let loose a small white-and-green. . .projectile.

"Eeeeeek!" my mom cried.

'Eek?' Ax wondered.

SPLAT! Marco's dookie hit home.

SPLAT! Jake's projectile hit my mother in the shoulder of her yellow blouse. A blouse I'd recognized as the one I gave her last Christmas.

"Hey, what's going on?" Marco's dad raised his eyes up to see where the poo was coming from. 

We can't let him see us! I said. He might say something about birds, and the yeerks will know we're onto them!

He can't. It's too dark. Not unless we accidentally fly into one of those moving spotlights. Tobias assured me.

SPLAT! Ax dropped a projectile in my mother's hair.

"Oh my God, what is this?" mom yelled. The rest of the people on line were staring. And also backing away, so as not to come in range of the crazy invisible pooping birds.

"Naomi! Are you okay?" Marco dad asked.

Is she okay? She was just dumped on! I can't believe this dork! I muttered.

Hey, watch it. Marco said. He crapped again. I started to think he was enjoying this a little too much.

What the - stop Marco! I said. I flew over his Dad and fired right on to his over-gelled hair.

HEY!

You started it!

Will you guys please shut up!? Listen! Jake grabbed our attention.

"I need to go home and change." Mom said, disgusted.

'I'm sorry. I didn't - "

"It's okay Jeremy. It's not your fault." Then my mom looked up at Marco's dad. She started to laugh. Then Marco's dad started to laugh. The rest of the people on line stared at them strangely and cut them in line. They didn't appear to notice. Apparently being covered in owl crap was hysterical to them.

You've GOT to be kidding me. I said in awe.

No way. Marco said in the same bewildered tone.

Why are they laughing? Is this funny to most humans? Ax asked, thoroughly confused.

"Well, I should take you home. To wash up." Jeremy took my mom's hand.

"You too." She said, pointing at his hair. Then they set off towards their car, hand in hand, to wash the bird crap out of their hair. 

This would make one VERY demented movie. I commented.

So, mission accomplished? Cassie asked hopefully. I don't want to know what Jordan and Sara have done to my house.

We have to do something about the rest of those people. Jake said. We need to save them too.

Well, then I say we break something. Put this place out of order. I suggested.

Yes, we do that. But not you and Marco. Jake said.

WHAT!? Marco and I exclaimed.

Rachel, you need to pick up Jordan and Sara and get home before your mom does. What happens if she comes home to an empty house? You too, Marco. Just tell your dad I went home. Jake said.

But - but - 

No buts, Rachel. You guys need to go home. Jake said firmly.

I was enraged at first, but I slowly calmed down. He was right. And this movie theater might keep us busy for a while, I couldn't afford to be grounded.

Fine. I grumbled.

Well then let's a-go, Xena! Marco said.

I have to fly with this goober? I moaned.

Just go. You have to beat them. Jake said.

Fine. Come on, dipstick. We flew after our giggling parents.

- - - That's it fo' now. Was it short? It felt short typing. Oh well, I had to end it someplace. And I had to respon to the reviews which I think is as long as the actual chapter. . .

THE HAPPY KORNER (Ohhh, so happyyyy!)

DH - o0o0o 3 funnies! That makes me feel good, thanks!

Moon*wolf2 - Well, we gotta have the fun. Without the fun it would be. . .unfun. I feel sorry for Erek too. You should read my other story THE TASK. Then you'd feel sorry for Cassie. Hee hee hee! **sings** I looove making their lives difficuuuuult!

SurrealSerpent1 - Yeah, it's going to be pretty long. As long as THE SOMETHING and THE ISLAND. Glad you enjoy so far!

SouthernBelle - I was going to (since it's a really great story) but I came online one day and saw a story with almost the exact same plot. I guess the "great minds think alike" junk is true. I forget the title, but I probably won't post a story like that until the one I saw is forgotten, lol! But it really was good!

Myst4 - Uh, I dunno if Cassie doesn't eat beef. I just assumed cuz she loves animals so much she wouldn't eat them **shrug. And yes, hawks can get pills up their butts. They did it that book were everyone got sick AND I double checked on the 'net. Very strange things pop up when you type "pill up hawk butt" in a search engine….

*ROGUE* - Yes! People are happy I'm back. See there I was lying under my bed thinking no one loved me! Heehehehe. Okay, I'll input more Jake-Cassie just for you.

Freak show - "let the freakness eat my guts"? :\ that's scary! **runs away and hides holding a cheese grater as a weapon** Hehe, I might actually leave it untitled. That is, unless someone thinks of something better.

Jinako-chan - Well, you're sniffing something right, hehe. Your nose is definitely working. For Super Smash Bros I use Kirby, Link, or the Iceclimbers (cuz they cute). And guys think ANYONE is hot. My best friend is a guy and he thinks my mom is hot (I had to slap him with a wet cheeto and pull his hair for him to get over it). 

Super Hurricane - LOL anomaly indeed. Freaked out, whacked up, and demented anomaly. Trust me, the screwed-upness will definitely get worse. **cackles at her own insanity**

Stink E. Burrito - I start school the 4th, so soon I will feel your pain. I'll try to get another chapter out before school starts. Hopefully this years batch of demons (teachers) won't be as bad as last years.

Chelz-Aelle - Harry Potter is better?? TRAITOR!!! **grabs a torch and corners you into. . .um. . .a corner** BURN!! Hee hee hee, just kidding. Fine, be like that. LoL. Okay, I will write more but I'm, going to cut out any Harry Potter references I have in my stories as protest! (Just kidding, I love Harry Potter).

Aniangel - JeEz, people are making me blush. Or it might just be because its like 99 degrees and I'm sitting at a really hot computer. Anyway, glad you like. God, your alter-ego is mean! You should lock it up in an electric cage like I do with mine. **tosses alter ego a banana. It growls at me**

Silent Hunter - As usual, Me glad you likey!

DawnOfEast - Where have I been? Uh, nowhere, hehe. Just been lazy. Well, I don't know if you can think up a title for me just yet. But thanks for offering. I'll need a lot of help.

Early - Heeheehee! I do the exact same thing. I say the exact same thing too. And thanks for adding me to the favorite authors list. According to the thingie, I'm on 26 of them :o You're already on mine (though you haven't updated in a looong time. Hurry up! Hehe.)

Prinki - Will do, chief!

BlackOpal - **sigh it came to me in a dream. . .** Hee hee, actually no, the plot really came from me and my cousin. See we hate each other's guts (she bites me. And she 16!) but our delusional parents think we love each other. They were asking me to move to beautiful San Francisco with them for a year. Live with the wrist biter? He-ellll no! But at least it made me think of Rachel and Marco. . .

Senydegger - **coughRATCHET AND CLANKsough** Hm, what? Eh, never mind hee hee. Hey, you said Freak Apple Records. I believe at the end of THE ISLAND I mentioned that specifically as something I owned! I demand a disclaimer or I will sue your butt bald!! (Just kidding). Anyway glad you enjoyed stick around for the ride!

Oediapl Kat - You're right you've read all my junk so I owe you, hehe. Actually I owe all of you. I remember starting it a month ago, but it hasn't been updated like forever. I think you just updated it recently though, I'll go hunt it down. Rachel and Maroc lived unhappily ever after? Hee hee hee, good idea. . .


	3. LETS BASH A FEW THINGS!

DISCLAIMER: I'm having a nickel drive. Everyone who reads this MUST donate a nickel to the Freak Apple Wants Animorphs Fund! FAWA will give all of you nuclear wedgies if you fail to give me your nickels. So fork over my nickels, punks!

I'm just kidding, please don't abandon me. 

NOTE: H0wdy! Now, I know you guys really don't give a flaming hoot what's going on in the movie theater, am I correct? All YOU wanna know is, does Rachel remove Marco's head, and will Ax get that box of Raisinets he's craving? Hee hee. At least that's how I think I would feel. Well, tough noogies people. =P I want this story to be 20 something chapters and I think Rachel doing Marco bodily damage would only take like, 1. So I'm adding stuff. Nyah Nyah! **moons people** Though of course, it will get much worse for those two. . .

Oh and I would like to respond to a review publicly, since it made me giggle. It's from my buddy Senydegger, who writes: _I'd like to keep my butt as un-bald as possible!..._Heeheeheeheeheehee!! **giggle laugh snort** Ahhh, I love my reviewers. Love ya Senydegger!

F-RECAP-LE: _So they get Rachel's mom and Marco's Dad away safely by. . . erm. . .pooping on them. The two lovebirds are on their way home, so Rachel and Marco have to make a mad dash before their parents discover they're not home. The others stay at the theater to save the other people. _

Tobias - 

You realize they're going to kill each other before they make it home. I informed Jake. Rachel and Marco had just disappeared from my view, just after Marco reported that all the movies would be starting at 8:15 sharp for the Grand Opening. We were now two people short. 

We sat on top the Sherman Multiplex, looking down at the people slowly filing in. More people were also arriving. Old people, young people, people on dates, some huge guy who looked like he ate muscles for breakfast. . . We saw a few of the employees; controllers dressed in red and black. We were prepping ourselves pathetically for the mission, like we usually do. But for some reason I was feeling pretty edgy. Like this was not going to be that easy. I assured myself that it was just because we were missing Rachel, but the feeling didn't leave. We've done plenty, but this type of nervousness was a different than the usual. I couldn't explain it.

They'll get over it. Jake said briskly. We need to get inside this thing.

To do what? Cassie asked.

Is there a main point to these movie theaters? Ax began.

Yeah, Ax-man. To watch movies. 

Yes. So if the movies were disrupted. . .

There'd be no point in coming here. Jake finished. Unless of course you enjoy buying severely overpriced Hawaiian Punch and 5 dollar chocolate bars.

Even with that luxury, people will get angry? Ax asked.

I laughed. He was joking, Ax. People don't come her to buy the expensive food.

Ax seemed completely bewildered by the fact that buying food would not make up for the movie. Oh. Well, my suggestion is to somehow cut off the electricity. I know for a fact that human technology could do very little without electricity.

They have backup generators. They always do. It wouldn't last long, but it would be enough to get these people to stay. Cassie said. (Note: Okay, I just learned that this is not the case in some movie theaters. But that's how it is here. The movie theaters were open the first night of the big blackout. . .)

New plan.

Well, then we sabotage the projectors only. Jake said. People can't see their movies without projectors.

No one said anything a few seconds.

Why does it seem like our plans are wayy too simple and easy and. . .well. . .unheroic? I wondered.

Don't tell me you're gonna start on the Marco rant. Jake moaned. We do what we gotta do.

I'm kind of starting to see his point though. I mean, that oatmeal thing, that Zone 91 thing, that whole burger fiasco. . .that kind of stuff isn't exactly what the history books are made of. I continued. 

Jake sighed in our heads. Seriously. Did Rachel kill Marco and now you're channeling his spirit?

Nah, I'm just. . .nevermind. I said. The nervous feeling still hadn't left, but at least I wasn't in human form so I couldn't show these emotions. 

Tobias, are you okay? Cassie asked. Jake and Ax didn't react, so I guess shewas speaking privately. Leave it Cassie to be able to read the emotions of a bird.

I'm fine. Totally fine. I lied. A little nervous I guess, since Rachel and Marco aren't here.

You're just missing Rachel. I repeated to myself. It's just different, that's all. Then I snapped back to the others. 

Ok let's do this. But you know, whatever higher power is out there, I'll bet he's laughing at us right now. (Note: Hehehehe. Yes I am, Tobias. Indeed. . .)

Alright. I think we all have to go human though, in case they decided to install one of those Gleet Biofilters. I'm sure they would have thought of a bunch of bugs sneaking in. Cassie pointed out. 

That's risky, but we don't have another choice right now. But we'll need money for admission. Jake said. 

On television, when young humans wish to view a movie free of charge they always sneak to a back door, which is always curiously left open. And I use the term "sneak" loosely, because the humans merely bend their knees and walk closer to the ground while shuffling loudly, though they are rarely discovered. Then they hide in conveniently high thornless bushes placed almost strategically in front of the open back door. Ax said.

We all looked at Ax strangely.

Yeah, well, um, that was a Disney Channel movie, Ax. I said. I doubt it'll work like that here.

It's worth a shot. Let's fly round back. Jake spread his wings and took off, followed closely by Cassie, Ax, and I.

Behind the theater was your basic grimy old alley. This was downtown, after all. I spotted a skinny, greasy cat rummaging through a dumpster. No "strategically placed" bushes in sight. But there was a door.

Is it locked? Cassie wondered.

I'll check. You guys cover for me. Jake flew down to the alley and landed on an old cardboard box. The greasy cat hissed at him.

Nice kitty. . .Jake said. Then he began to grow. His feathers lay flat on his body and changed back to human skin. His owl face was sucked into his regular human one. Just as his beak melted away, he turned to the cat.

MEEEEEE-ROWWWWWRRR!!!

"Ahhh!"

The cat pounced on Jake and latched on to his shoulder. Jake started flail wildly, trying to throw off the insane cat.

Jake! Stop that, you'll hurt the cat! Cassie cried.

"I'LL hurt the CAT!?" Jake cried, stumbling into a pile of moldy newspapers.. Finally he was able to grab it and swing it off him and down the other way of the alley. It landed on its feet, hissed, and stalked away. I did all I could to suppress the rising burst of laughter.

Jake looked at the scratches left on his shoulder. "Damn cat." Then he tried the knob on the door. "It's locked."

Crap. I muttered.

Wait. You hear that? Cassie said suddenly.

I do. Prince Jake, hide. Someone is coming! Ax warned.

Jake's eyes grew wide. He looked around wildly and finally decided that it wouldn't kill him to swan dive into a dumpster. He didn't bother to shut the lid. He didn't have time, because once he pulled a moldy box over his head, the door swung open.

"I'm tellin ya, I heard something out here!" It was a skinny little man. He was accompanied by some monster of a guy. It was the guy with big huge muscles.

"Whatever. You know we've got the Filters all over in the building. Nothing's getting inside." Muscle Guy said. Then he emptied a plastic bag full of Sheetrock and dust into Jake's dumpster. "Come one, let's go. We have to finish this idiotic plan of the Visser's."

"Idiotic? Don't let him hear you say that." The skinny guy warned.

"The fool doesn't know what he's doing." The Muscle Guy shrugged. Then he took out his key, reopened the door, and flung it open again. The two controllers went back inside, the door closing slowly behind them.

Jake emerged from the dumpster and threw a small piece of sheetrock at the foot of the door. With aim that even impressed me, a hawk, he was able to stop the door from closing all the way. The piece of sheetrock acted as a doorstop.

He waited a moment, in case they heard him, then he got out of the dumpster and peered in the door slowly.

Nice! I commented. He grinned. Then he waved us to come down. We did, and landed on the rim of the dumpster.

Oh, that is rancid. . .Cassie said, looking into the dumpster. 

"Demorph, let's move." Jake whispered.

Cassie demorphed, while Ax quickly went to his Andalite body, then to human.

Wait we need some eyes in the skies, just in case. I said.

"You're right." Jake whispered. "But I have a suggestion. . .Ax. . .um, there might be food in there. . .and you still talk a little strangely. . ."

So? Ax huffed, taking offense.

"Ax, I know you have self control. It's just that even the slightest thing out of the ordinary would set these guys off. I hope you understand." Jake reasoned.

"Prince Jake. . ."Ax started. But he gave in. "I will stay out here then." He went back into owl mode and took to the skies again.

"I think he's a little miffed." Cassie whispered. 

Jake sighed. "Let's go."

He creaked the heavy door open slowly and we each squeezed in the opening. Then he carefully closed the door, not letting go until he heard the soft click. We were now in what looked like a storage room. It was full of buckets, pieces of dry wall, cement bags, and other construction stuff. Across us was another door, which no doubt led to the movie theaters.

"Think we'll look out of place wearing these?" Cassie wondered, tugging at her leotard. Jake and I were dressed in our usual bike shorts and tight T-shirts. Morphing suits.

"Not to mention Jake reeks of dumpster stew." I added. 

"Umm. . ."Jake's eyes scanned the room. "Wait, there." He went toward a bucket and pulled out a grimy-looking T-shirt, probably left there by a construction worker. He replaced his own stink shirt with it (Cassie looking embarrasedly at the dusty floor). The shirt read "Bullshit. You're ain't 21."

"Nice shirt." I commented. "Anything else in there for us?"

"No, oh wait." He produced paint-splattered overalls. I took them and put them on. They were way too big, but at least I wasn't running around in tights.

"So, I'm stuck looking like a ballerina at a movie theater?" Cassie asked, crossing her arms.

"Sorry." Jake shrugged. 

"Alright, let's get this over with." Cassie sighed.

We slowly pulled open the other door and were greeted by dim lights lining a velvety red corridor. Movie posters papered the area. No one was around.

"This must be the 'Employees Only' part of the theater." Jake said. We stepped onto the carpet and walked to our right, searching for the doors that led to the projection rooms. Suddenly behind us we heard soft footsteps.

"Someone's coming!" Cassie hissed. 

"Hide!" Jake said.

I quickly dove behind a cardboard cutout display for the movie Freddy vs. Jason. Unfortunately, Freddy and Jason's glaring mugs were only big enough to hide me. Jake and Cassie searched frantically for a place to hide.

"Hey, is somebody there?"

Suddenly Jake grabbed Cassie by the shoulders and pulled her towards him. Then he shoved his mouth on Cassie's and began to make out.

I made a mature face.

"Hello? What the - " It was a guy dressed in regular clothing, not the red and black uniforms that employees wore. "Oh, uhh, sorry kids. I was looking for the bathroom and I just - sorry I shouldn't have came in the Employees Only door. I just really needed - uhhh. . ." The guy shoved his hands in his pockets and blushed. "Sorry, I'll um, I'll go. . ." He turned around and walked quickly out of sight.

Jake released Cassie, breathing hard. Cassie almost fell backwards, panting just as heavily. Her eyes were wide and she was staring at Jake. Jake was determinedly not looking at her. They were both blushing.

I popped my head out from behind Freddy. "So, um, let's go?"

"Right. Oh, right!" Jake snapped out of it. He led the way down the hall, fiddling with his hands. Cassie and I followed him. 

Finally we reached our first door. It had the letter A painted on it. 

"My guess would be this is the projection room for theater A." I said.

"Alright, let's go. Slow, just in case the worker is early."

I turned the doorknob and opened it a crack. Jake peered in with one eye.

"It's dark. No one in there yet. But we have to go fast, the clock there says we have 10 minutes, tops.

We piled into the room and looked around. There were suggestive posters hanging on the walls, as well as a few adult-only magazines. I had to wonder what a yeerk wanted with those, but I came to the conclusion that I really didn't want to know. A cold cup of coffee sat on a chair. And in the middle of the tiny room was the projector. The lens pointed out to the dim theater, were a few people were already sitting, munching on some pre-movie popcorn.

"So we just. . .smash it?" Cassie asked, eyeing the big black and gray machine.

"Yeah," Jake said. He put both hands on it. "Help me."

Cassie and I leaned into it and sent it crashing over. Pieces from the inside broke off and flew in every direction. The roll of film rolled away.

"Okay, that's one. How many theaters are there?" Jake asked.

"I think Marco said 12."

"Twelve!?" We gotta go faster then.

We cracked open the door again to make sure no one was around, then we proceeded to rooms B through E without any interruptions. 

We stood in front of were Doors F and G should have been. Instead, there were two doors locked with panels. Complicated looking panels. I looked further down and saw that the letters continued H-L.

"No F and G. I wonder what's back there." Cassie said.

"Do you think they're hiding something?" Jake asked. 

"Why else would they lock them?" I said. Suddenly my stomach jolted, as if it were trying to tell me something. Again, I felt the unexplained nervousness.

"Tobias?" Cassie asked, looking concerned.

"Nothing." I looked away.

"You guys, we have to come back here when we're at full strength. But for now we have to get to the other projectors. We have like 5 minutes."

Finally we snuck out of the last room, L. Our mission was a success. At least for now. Now we had to escape.

"We leave the same way we came in." Jake said. Then we started for the storage room. 

"WELCOME TO THE GRAND OPENING OF THE SHERMAN CINEPLEX! YOUR MOVIES WILL BE STARTING SHORTLY, SO WILL EVERYONE TAKE THEIR SEATS."

The loudspeaker echoed down the corridor. We looked at each other and sprinted toward the storage room. Then we heard voices.

"I can't believe we have to be sit in a stupid room while the humans watch their stupid movies." We heard a controller complain. 

"They'll be taken care of soon enough." Another controller said. Their footsteps were getting closer. If we ran now, they would hear us.

"Walk, fast." Jake muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

We stopped our all-out run and start to walk quickly, making as little noise as possible. A split second before the controllers came around the corner, Jake pulled open the door and we tumbled inside.

"Jeez." I gasped, wiping the sweat off my forehead. We sat for a moment, trying to breathe again.

"ELISS!! ELISS!! The projectors are smashed! Andalites!" a voice cried.

"Bail! Bail!" Jake scrambled up and tore open the door. As we left, we heard the other controller.

"Andalites? Are you insane? If the Andalites were here they would have tried to get into the locked rooms. No, this is the work of some fool human children. My host has teenagers, and they did the same thing at another theater. They are always causing trouble. The bandits aren't that stupid."

I breathed a sigh of relief. A small shadow appeared. Ax.

I was about to contact you. How did it go? Ax said. 

"Fine, fine, no problem at all." Cassie wheezed.

Ax looked at Jake's grubby T-shirt. 

Bullshit?

- - - ACK! My last chapter before school starts! **sobs and cries and stuff** No0o0o0o!! Don't make me go! I wanna stay stupid!! **grabs onto Jinako-chan** Don't make me go!! No0o0o0o0o!!! **Jinako-chan shoves me away, so I grab the Fanfiction.net people** WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

THANK YOU for all the reviews! Anything, compliments, criticism, weird stories of stuffed lobsters (anyone seen Amy Angelblade around?). . .makes me feel good. Though I just realized you guys are reviewing because of the story. See, here I am thinking you guys review just cuz I gots a sexy butt ;-)

THE HAPPY KORNER! (aka place were I read your mind! o0o0o0o0o!)

Philip (Triple Point) - Hey, if Erek can handle building the pyramids, he can handle babysitting. Then again. . .is IS Jordan and Sara. . .Egads, ideas for next chapter are flooding in my head. O0o0o, nah, I'll put rubber chickens in a different chapter. . .ohh. . .okay, now I know what I'm gonna write. Hee hee. Battle Royale may come. . .but I Think I'm gonna juice the Marco-Rachel thing for all it's worth. Ah the twisted webs I weave. . .Ew, spiders. I hate spiders. EEEEEK!

Senydegger - Hee hee, h0wdy. Hope you didn't mind me exposing your wishes of having a hairy butt for all to see. If you want me to change that I will. But it was funny. Actually its less funny than I thought it was, now that I think of it. But I'm too lazy right now to hit the backspace key. And just so ya know, I will NEVER stop typing! MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Freak show - they lets you do anything on your school computers. That aint fair, we always got a pointy nosed librarian breathing down our necks! Yeah I'll keep writing, just don't. . .don't do anything with that blood **cringes**

DawnOfEast - You know one of my favoite quote from the Animorphs was something I think Marco (I THINK) said, which was something like "When this is over and they ask us about the war for history books, lets leave this part out." So I just sit here thinking u whacked out things for them to do. It's fun!

SouthrnBelle - Marco and Rachel. . .hmmm, the thought never crossed my mind. . .**puts on dumb face** Not telling, nyah nyah!

Myst4 - Hehehe @ the refreshing thing. I do that a lot too. I wish noe one had lives, like me, so hey could just update their stories already! **glares at certain nameless people** Hee hee, hawk porn **gigglesnort**

Remnants-2011 - Ah yes. Will do, chief!

Alara-Sirinial-Alamon - Hee hee, thanks for reading this one. You don't have to read the others to read this one, its independent. As for the hilariousness, I have my voices in my head to thank.

*ROGUE* - I realize I've gotten a lot of reviews. I'm grateful for anything, hehe. But I do believe you got some Jake and Cassie in this chapter, no?

RasberryGirl - Another tally for Marco and Rachel. Hmm. . . it appears something must be done about that. . .Hey, if you want even more of that, go read Amora's fic Your Basic Nightmare. It's a blast! (But it hasn't been updated in like forever) Oh, and what's the Cabbage Patch? Is it like the funky chicken?

Oedipal Kat - I'm improving? Wow thanks. So you like what you're reading? You're not just saying that cuz I got a sexy butt? Dang. . .hehehe.

Chelz-Aelle - o.0 That has got to be the awesomest poem I've ever read EVER!!!! LoL no I never played bad birdy, but I will now! Oh and I heard BBQ chips were really coated his pig. . .nah never mind. Hee Hee hee.

DH L'Orange - I am happy to provide laughs to anyone. Normally I'd just look at someone and they'd laugh (I am quite funny-looking) but since you can't do that, my writing will have to suffice. See ya!

Amy Angelblade - Indeed. . .Rachel's worst fear. Hee hee. Ohhh that just gave me an idea about cheescake! **writes on a post it** Alright then, I think you're a good writer except you DON'T FINISH them, leaving me to CRY IN DESPAIR **sulks**. And yes I will thicken the plot. You thicken a plot by feeding it pizza and pork rinds J You choose StarFox? **snickers. The verb, not the candy bar ;)**

Surreal Serpent1 - Yo' wish is ma command!

mistresso of madness - I love you and the voice in your head too! But it sounds like you need to show that voice in your head who's boss. I locked mine in an electric cage and fed it only Fruity Pebbles once a day. That put it back in line.

InsaneFrog - I remember you! Yeah, I wrote another one. Jeez, when am I gonna stop torturing you guys, hehe. Well, thanks for reviewing!


	4. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

DISCLAIMER: Okay see, I had this idea about cheese. See, I was eating cheese at the time so of course my mind was focused on my eating of the cheese. It was a cheddar cheese I think but I'm not sure because the cheese wrapper just said "cheese" on it, which is pretty self-explanatory and stupid because I bought it in the section of Stop n Shop known as the "Cheese Shop". So why they labeled a hunk of what was obviously cheese "cheese" without specifying which TYPE of cheese it was is beyond me. I mean if I want to buy cheese I go to the "Cheese Shop" section and buy cheese. Everyone knows its cheese so why the heck didn't they label what TYPE of cheese it was, since everyone already KNOW its cheese anyway since it was bought at the Cheese Shop, and we are depending on the label to find out what sort of cheese products they are buying!. . .but you probably don't care. . . Oh wow, now the disclaimer's too long. Well, long story short I was going to lure K.A. Applegate from her office with the cheese so that I could sneak in and steal the Animorphs. Happy cheeses y'all!

NOTE: Okay, to make up for my obscenely long and cheeseful disclaimer I'll let you all go with a brief note - I love Shawn Ashmore. Hee hee, bet you thought I forgot all about that, huh?

F-RECAP-LE: _Ah, it appears that the yeerks are hiding something **gasp** Jake, Cassie, and Tobias (poor Ax must fly surveilllance) discover some suspiciously locked rooms. Oh my goodness. Well, they proceed with their plan (namely, smashing movie projectors so the poor people can't watch their movies **sob**) and narrowly escape getting caught. The theater is now movieless, so I guess people will have to leave, huh? Oh and Jake and Cassie make out. Bet that's all you guys remember, right? Anywhoo, back to Marco and Rachel._

Marco - 

Rachel and I flew away from the others and traveled in silence. Which was nice. Rachel's a very sweet girl when she's not saying or doing anything.

Where are you going? 

Uh-oh. I prepared for the niceness to go flying out the window.

What do you mean? I asked.

I mean, why are you heading to Cassie's house? Shouldn't you be heading home? she asked.

Oh. Um. I don't know. I responded. It was the truth. I didn't know. I probably just didn't feel like being alone. 

Whatever. It's your ass that's gonna be grounded when your dad comes home.

I think not. I said. If I know my dad, he is going to walk your mom into your house. He's a gentleman like that.

Figures. He'd be bugging my mom every step of the way. Like father like son, I guess. she replied hotly. I caught her harsh tone. A monkey would have caught it. What was up with her?

Why are you mad at ME. I demanded. It's not like I did anything wrong! It's not like I thought 'Hm, how could I piss off Rachel beyond sanity?'

Right. Whatever.

What? I swear, I don't do that!

So all your idiotness just flies out of your butt then? No warning?

We reached Cassie's barn and landed on her rafters. Rachel prepared to hop down, but I stopped her.

Rachel, what the hell is your problem, anyway? This isn't just about you. It's not like you're the only one dealing with this.

Go home Marco.

Listen, we have to deal with this togeth - 

Our "heartfelt" dramatic, daytime-TV conversation was interrupted by a short strangled scream from the house. 

Erek. Rachel said. She shoved me away and demorphed and I followed. We stormed into Cassie's living room. Or at least, what used to be Cassie's living room. It looking like the devil had come up from hell and spewed all over the house. There was yellowish-white cream or something everywhere. I saw broken glass, strewn flowers, and various birds were pecking at the formerly green carpet. I sighed. I'd never know what the hell was on Rachel's psycho mind now.

"Jordan! Sara!" Rachel yelled. There were some thumping noises, as what sounded like a herd of buffalo came tromping down the stairs. Jordan and Sara stood before us, smiling innocently and looking as clean and relaxed as if they were just watching TV.

"Hi." I greeted them. I gave them a little wave, so the demons knew I was friendly.

"Hey, Marrrrrrco." Jordan came up and stood way too close to me. I glanced at Rachel and she rolled her eyes. I saw the smile creeping up on her face though. I'd remember that next time I decided to pity her for something.

"Where's Erek?" 

Sara skipped over to the closet and pulled it open. Erek sat in there, short hair in bunched ponytails tied by rainbow and butterfly clips. He had lipstick on his lips, teeth, and chin. Mascara practically dripped off his eyes. His hands were tied behind the chair. His face had the expression of utter horror. I guess even an ancient alien android with a hologram and force field couldn't stand a makeover from two little girls.

"Erek! Sorry. . ." Rachel walked over to untie him. She whispered in his ear "Just break the ropes, we're in a rush. Thanks, by the way."

Erek nodded and discreetly pulled his wrists apart. He could have easily escaped the wrath of Jordan and Sara, but he had to play his part. Then he pulled the stuff out of his hair and waved.

"No need to pay me, I, uh, I gotta go." He shot out the door at super-human android speed.

"He runs fast." Jordan commented.

"Probably so no one from his school would see him lookin like a reject clown from the Circus of Uglies." I laughed.

"AH-HAHAH! That is soo funny Marco!" Jordan practically drooled on me. I stared at her, then at Rachel.

"Yeah, yeah. Listen, guys we have to go home NOW." Rachel tugged on her sister's arms.

"We don't have to clean up?" Sara asked, pointing at the mess.

"What is that?" I asked, indicating the yellowish-white stuff.

"Kraft Mac n Cheese." 

"Cheezy!" Sara declared. "Come get your noodle-roni!"

"It's 'Kraft gets your noodle going', stupid." Jordan sneered.

I blinked. "Oh. Um, yeah, let's go."

Rachel picked Sara up and carried her out the door. Which left me with Jordan. She clenched my hand in a Superman grip and marched proudly out the door, dragging me behind her.

Outside Rachel looked at me. "Okay, guys, we have to go fast. Run, even."

"Oh, I thought you wanted me to go home." I said sarcastically. She glared at me. I cringed. "Just kidding. I don't feel like going home. Tee-hee." 

Jordan pulled me closer. Then she turned to Rachel. "How come we came here anyway?"

"Oh, um, I had some stuff with school. With Cassie. A project." Rachel explained. 

"Why'd you leave?" 

"It was at school." Rachel's eyes started to blink rapidly. Great. Xena was a bad liar.

"So where's Cassie?"

"I - uh, she's still there."

"At the school?"

"Yeah."

"On a Friday night?"

I shook my head and shot her a look that said "You suck at lying." She shot me back a look that said "Screw you."

Jordan grinned at her sweetly. "I'm telling mo-om!"

Rachel thought for a moment. Then she put Sara down, came over, and bent close to Jordan.

"I'll give you ten bucks."

"Twenty."

"Deal."

She picked Sara up again. "Seriously guys, we have to run."

"I want money too!" Sara wailed.

"Right, okay, when we get home!"

Rachel dashed down the sidewalk, with Jordan following her and dragging me along. A couple minutes later I was out of breath and nearing their driveway. Just as we saw some headlights slowing to a stop.

"Round the back!" Rachel hissed. We dodged the headlights, which were creeping toward us like a pair of spotlights. She led us to her backyard, which was lined with a wooden fence. A tall wooden fence with a gate. With the latch on the other side. There were no footholds or anything to climb over.

"Jeez, what now? I asked. Rachel rolled her eyes at me. 

"Come on Sara, you know what to do." She lifted her youngest sister up and Sara hoisted herself up over the fence. Judging from the noiselessness on the other side, I guess she had a soft landing. My mouth dropped open.

"She's gonna unlock the gate?" I asked.

"No, she's too little. The latch is rusty and she can't pull hard enough."

"So what is she - "

Before I finished, a dirty shoelace was thrown over the fence and landed on my face. Rachel grabbed it and tugged. I heard a click, and the gate opened. 

"You've done this before?" I gaped.

"You bet." Rachel snatched up Sara again and sprinted across the patio to the back door. Locked.

"Let me guess, no key." I said. "Don't tell me one of you is going to smash the door in with a toothpick or something."

"Jordan?" Rachel turned to her other sister

Jordan pulled a long wire from under the patio stairs. One of those wires that people use to keep their long plants from bending too much. She bent it into a weird shape, stuck it under the door and fiddled around.

"Hurry! I hear them!" Rachel hissed.

Jordan looked annoyed, but soon I heard a soft click and Rachel slammed the door open.

"How did she - ?" Before I could ask how the HELL that was possible, Rachel grabbed everyone, threw us into her kitchen, and slammed the door shut. She stuck Jordan and Sara at the table, pulled a Monopoly game board out from underneath, and shoved me next to Jordan. All in about two seconds. 

The front door opened.

"Rachel?"

"Yes, mom?" Rachel answered, sounding completely normal. Not even out of breath. Every hair in place. She wasn't even red and hyperventilating, like I was. Jordan and Sara were setting up the Monopoly board. Jordan was struggling to keep from smirking.

Naomi walked in, followed by my dad. They both had dried bird gunk all over them.

"Marco?"

"Hi dad!" I said breathlessly. "Did you know Naomi's daughter is a friend of mine from school? Rachel!"

My dad looked puzzled for a minute, then looked at Rachel. "Hi."

"Hello!" Rachel said over-enthusiastically. She was probably giddy over the rush of having just beaten our parents home.

"Hi Marco. So how are my girls?" Naomi asked, setting down her purse.

"Great!" they chirped.

"Mommy, why are you covered in bird poo poo?" Sara asked.

"I don't really know Sara." Naomi looked at my Dad and they laughed. I made a face. Rachel made a similar face.

"Well, I'm going to go wash up. Since everyone is here why don't we just order a pizza? Jeremy, you can use that bathroom." Naomi guided my Dad away.

Silence. Rachel sat next to Sara and tapped her nails on the table. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Sara and Jordan were actually engaging in a game of Monopoly, like they'd been doing it for hours.

I just sat there still in shock, wondering how it was humanly possible that Rachel trained a 5 year old and an 11 year old to pick locks. And how this family of crazies could run a mile without breaking a sweat. And how we were NOT caught.

"So, I guess you guys do stuff like this a lot." I said, breaking the silence. Rachel just shot me a puzzled expression.

"Do what a lot?" Jordan asked.

"Um, nothing never mind."

Rachel got up. A couple minutes later she returned. She calmly handed 20 bucks to Jordan and a five to Sara.

"Glad to be of service." Jordan smiled. Sara happily stuffed the Lincoln in her pocket, clearly not noticing that she was ripped off by 15 bucks.

"So what do you guys want on your pizza?" Rachel asked, pulling out a phone. 

"What does Marrrrco want?" Jordan purred next to me. I edged away.

"Well, I like mushrooms."

"Ewww! I hate mushrooms!" Sara cried.

"Shh, Sara. Marco's the guest. We'll get mushrooms." Rachel said in a freakishly un-Rachel kind tone. Sara sulked but forgot all about it after reached a Community Chest Square.

I stared at Rachel. Why was she being nice to me all of a sudden?

She caught my eyes. "Hey what are you staring at, Dorkus?"

I sighed and threw up my hands. 

"Oh I give up. This has GOT to be a girl thing!"

- - - Well there ya go. **cheers and tries to do a split but ends up splitting pants and breaking that pelvis bone thing** You know, its starting to occur to me that I've been updating every Sunday. So I guess that will be my official update day. I will update every Sunday. How does that sound? Mostly because I get dragged out of bed early for church anyway, and while my family takes 30 minutes to get ready I'm ready in about 5 (no I ain't grimy and no I don't smell like a turd), so I just go online and screw around. So yeah. Cool. . .

THE HAPPY KORNER!! (SQUEEEEEEEE!!)

Jinako-chan - **sigh** I hate school. Hehe. Yeah, I felt sorry for Ax too, so I'm writing a short story for him on Halloween. He should enjoy that. Cause he isn't speaking to me right now, I hope this will win him back. And by golly, you're right. Why can't Jake and Cassie just kiss regular? It's nutty, I tell ya! Oh, now I haven't really confirmed that theres gonna be R/M, now did I? Hee hee. Aw, heck. Y'all read me like a book. Ain't no surprising any of you. Or so you think. . .**wink**

Senydegger - o.0 I KNEW those theater rooms were suspicious!! And uh. . .about your unbald butt thing…8-| 

BlackOpal - I always wanted to clone something! I remember when I was 5 I took my cousin's hair and planted it in the backyard. I was so depressed cuz I couldn't grow myself a brother. . .And yeah Jake kissing Cassie came to me in a dream one night. . .actually no it didn't I saw it on 7th Heaven **blushes** but believe me I DO NOT usually watch that show. . .

Freak show - Oh I'm sure Jake and Cassie loved it too. They sent me a thank you card after I posted the chapter. And they promised to name their first baby after me. That's right Baby Freak Apple. W00t w00t!! You know what you do when people stare at you? Stare right back at them til they get all uncomfortable and turn away blushing. I love doing that.

EsotericEric - Alrighty then, I will be waiting for my nickel in the mail, hehehe. Aw, you're makin me blush, Eric! **blushes** About your beef, I tried to make it harder, but it just worked out that way. But trust me, you want difficult I'll give you difficult! Oh and don't eat beef, it's bad for you.

Mistresso of madness - **watch the smart meter above my head get lower** LoL, just kidding. I don't know why, but you had my rolling on the floor with "oh my cheese!" LMAO!! Oh and LoL it serves you right for reading my junk at work! Get back to work! Muahahah! P.S. Your voice scares me. 

*ROGUE* - Well if it goes as well as THE ISLAND did, I probably will have 200. But of course that does not matter to me **lies through her teeth and jumps for joy** Your welcome for the Jake-Cassieness. It was my pleasure. And of course, Jake and Cassie's. . .

DH - Yeah, a lot of people liked the kiss. Hee hee, I turned red when I wrote it, but that's ok no one was around. L my summer break is over. . .Quack quack!

A.S. Amalon - Insanity is my middle name! Actually, no its not but I despise my middle name so when I turn 18 I'm officially changing it to Insanity! Hehe, but actually I don't think they're THAT insane. . .but maybe that's cuz I'm just used to myself. . .

Phillip (Triple Point) - Rubber chickens. Heh. Hehehehehe. Oh and I had no idea I was doing that Tobias and Ax, truthfully **blushes** I was just flying by the seat of my pants. But now that you mention it, I like it and I will definitely build on that! Oh, and uh, I plan on doing some things in this story to Tobias that will make him fulfill his role n the Animorph series that K.A. Applegate never actually did **grumbles** Or at least I'll try my very very best! 

Super Hurricane - Ah, you're getting pretty warm there SH **wink**. As for Tobias, I think he just meant in a sarcastic way that he was surprised. Sarcastically. You know? Ah, I don't know what I'm talking about, hehe. 

DawnOfEast - Hee, yeah, I liked writing that. More has arrived, buddy.

Chelz-Aelle - Snogging Harry again, are we? Hmph **mubles about traitors abandoning the Animorphs for Harry Potter** Hehehe. 

Moon*wolf2 - The line didn't show up in the review, but glad you liked it anyway!

Oedipal Kat - You know you're the only one who commented on my attractive rumpular area? (pssst, you're my favorite) LoL. Yeah there's always gonna be more chapters. At least until I get a life or something. . .


	5. INDEED NO EXCUSES FREAK APPLE!

DISCLAIMER: **forces Marco to wear a thong and shoves a plate with a piece of mango into his hands** Allright, Marky-O you know the plan. Go! **Marco shimmies seductively in front of KA. Applegate**

K.A. - Ewww! Oh hey, a mango! **gets up to retrieve the piece of mango**

Me - **gets net ready**

Marco - **stops belly-dancing** What the - hey, why am I doing this? Freak Apple doesn't own me! **storms off**

K. A. - Awww, no mango. . .**goes back into the safety of her own home**

Me - **drops net** CRAAAAAAAAAP!!!

NOTE: Okay, so ya'll know about me issues with Miss Isabel right? In case you don't, I left the note up in the previous chapter with my obscenely long explanation. Okay, this chapter may seem kinda floopy and uh, shortish. That would be because I got discouraged after all my stuff was deleted. You know how it is, you really don't feel like doing it anymore. But I forced myself to write it over. This really wasn't as good as the one that was deleted though. Not that I'm trying to make excuses, hehe :P Hope you guys don't hate it too much. 

F-RECAP-LE - _Marco and Rachel race back to Rachel's house after picking up Jordan and Sara (and rescuing a horrified Erek). Weird lock-picking and wackiness ensues. Yada yada yada, you guys remember, right? Anyway, Onward!_

Cassie - 

"So then, Rachel tosses her little sister over the 8 foot fence and they open the locked gate with a SHOELACE! And Jordan freakin picked the lock of their back door with a bent piece of wire by sticking it under and picking it from the INSIDE! I'm telling you, the whole family's a bunch of whackos!!"

Then we hear someone coming, so I dive behind a movie display but Jake grabs Cassie and MAKES OUT with her right in front of the poor guy. Which of course drives the guy away.

Marco stopped, stared, blinked, and laughed. "Okay, Tobias. You're story beats mine."

I leaned against the wall with my arms crossed and sighed loudly. Jake blushed, but did the same. We were all gathering for your basic Animorph meeting in my barn. All of us were tired from last night, but duty called so we were all dragged back here at 9 in the morning on a beautiful Saturday. We were waiting for Rachel, who was running late, and Erek, who was doing whatever androids do. To make our wait more pleasant, Tobias and Marco decided to swap stories about the previous night. It turned out Marco and Rachel had it almost as hard as we did. Well, except me of course.

When I came home last I almost had a heart attack. First I thanked God for letting my parents not be there. Then I thought quite sinful thoughts about how I was going to strangle Rachel next time I saw her. But I had managed to clean up the mess and chase the pidgeons away. There was no real harm done. Until of course, my mom found out all her makeup was empty.

"I have no story to swap. Swapuh. Puh." Ax said crossly in his human form. My parents were home, so we couldn't take any chances. "I was not allowed to be near the food. Though I still do not see why. Eyye. Yuh."

Here she comes. Tobias announced. A couple seconds later Rachel walked in holding a cheesecake. Ax's eyes widened.

"Rachel? Why are you holding a cheesecake?" I asked. 

She scowled, then glared at Marco. "My mother told me to give this to Marco. It's for him and his dad."

Marco brightened. "Awesome!"

Rachel put the cheesecake down on the table my dad uses to suture wounded animals.

"Rach, can you not set it on the animal gore table?" Marco asked. Rachel glared. "Oh fine. I'll eat it anyway."

"Pig,"

"I'm whatever you want me to be, baby."

"Moving on. . ."Jake said, interrupting a possible nuclear war between Rachel and Marco. Erek suddenly appeared next to me. I yelped.

"Hi guys." He greeted us with a holographic grin. "Well, whatever you did last night worked. They had to close it for the night. They don't suspect any Andalite bandit activity at all. They just think it was a deranged teenage prank."

"Well they were right about the deranged part." Marco quipped.

"Hee. Ha." Jake muttered.

"We still have no information on why it was built. Visser Three is really keeping it under wraps. Only the highest ranking yeerks have an idea what's going on. Unfortunately none of our people are that high up on the yeerk hierarchy."

"So we find out for ourselves." Rachel said.

"Erek, do you know when the theater is reopening?"

"Supposedly tonight, at 8. I'm sorry our people can't give you any more information."

"That's fine Erek, thanks. We should probably get there before it opens. So in case something happens, innocent people don't get caught in the middle." I said. "I'm assuming this time we won't just be smashing movie projectors."

"What? Smashing… Oh last night! How'd you guys do that?" Rachel asked. 

Marco winked at me. "We-ell, you see. . ."

Before Marco could launch into a very exaggerated version of Jake's distracting the guy looking for the bathroom, Jake spoke up.

"It went fine. We smashed some cameras, in, out, no big deal."

"Tobias seems to remember it differently."

Tobias shuffled uncomfortably from the rafters. Um. . . 

"Jake snatched Cassie in his arms, ravaged her lips, then they ripped off each others - "

"MARCO!" Jake, Tobias, and I cried. Rachel and Erek looked mildly amused. Ax just stood there, looking smug.

"Just trying to lighten the mood, jeez." Marco held up his hands. 

"Right, okay, let's ignore the little dipstick now." Rachel looked away from Marco, but met my eyes. I knew she would be pumping me for information as soon as we were alone. 

"Well they've got the place surrounded by their Gleet Biofilters, so getting in will be a real problem. And they've got whatever they're hiding guarded by human controllers toting dracon beams. This is going to be difficult." Erek said. "Inside the facility and outside. If you have to go in as human I'm afraid I don't know how you're going to pull this off."

"We'll have to shut down the filters then. . ." Jake started pacing. 

"All BioFilters have a central generator. I can disable one easily." Ax said proudly.

"But wouldn't it be in the place that's guarded?" I pointed out.

We pondered for a moment.

"How bout we take out one of the guards? Lure them away somehow, knock 'em out, morph them, get access to the room and disable the generator. Then we wreak some havoc." Rachel suggested. Then she non-discreetly turned to me, no doubt waiting for my input. So did everyone else.

Morphing humans always distressed me, but at this point it didn't look like we had much of a choice. I pressed my lips in a tight line and raised my eyebrow at her. The others took it as approval and continued.

"How exactly do we lure a ray-gun carrying alien away from what it's guarding?" Marco asked skeptically.

"Some of us create a distraction that makes one of the guards have to come out. " Rachel said. Then she added a condescending "Duh."

"Alright, so we need Ax as human and least two other people with him." Jake said, trying his best not to offend poor Ax. Ax looked indignant, but said nothing. "The rest of us go in and wander as backup."

"I'll go with Ax." Rachel said. "I missed out last time. And besides I have one of the most powerful morphs, just in case we have some trouble after we disable the Filter."

"Me too!" Marco interjected. 

"No way." Rachel glared at him. "You can't go."

"Why do you get to go and not me??"

"Because you're a weenie!"

"What?!"

They both turned to Jake and yelled at the same time.

"TELL HIM!"

"TELL HER!"

Jake looked cornered. He shot desperate glances at Ax, Erek, Tobias and I. 

I spoke up. "Well, they should try and learn to work together. . ."

"NO!" Rachel and Marco cried simultaneously.

I don't think we should risk a mission over this right now. Tobias said softly.

"Exactly!" Marco and Rachel agreed at the same time. Then they turned to each other.

"STOP IT!" they ordered each other perfectly in sync.

"Both of you, just shut up!" Jake said exasperatedly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "If you two can't do it together you're going to have to decide which one of you will go with Ax."

"I want to go." Rachel said firmly.

"So do I." Marco said just as firmly.

They both stared stonily at the floor. I had a feeling that Rachel was just being this immature to get on Marco's nerves. And Marco was doing the same. They were always at each other's throats, but it usually wasn't this explosive. Neither of them seemed to be in a joking mood.

"Oh please, will you two just grow up for a second? We can't talk argue about this all day." I tried to reason. Marco mumbled something.

"What was that?" Jake asked.

"I'll go. . .with her. . .no fighting."

"You mean 'no trying to start with me'" Rachel sneered.

"You're the one who's all PMSing over - "

You guy STOP! Tobias cut in. Are you guys going to be civil or not?

Rachel sighed. "Fine. Whatever."

"Yeah whatever."

"I do not believe we can complete the mission with the current state of their morale." Ax said.

Jake leaned in to talk to me. "Think they can pull it off?"

It was a long shot, but Rachel and Marco really needed to fix whatever it was between them that was making them act like this. And we had to trust they could do that.

"I think so." I nodded. 

"Tobias?"

I. . .well I guess, I mean we'll be around for backup right?

Ax looked hesitant. "The situation may pose some problems-zuh, but I think Marco and Rachel must learn to work together civilly, eventually. Otherwise these problems may become worse on later missions. . ."

I nodded. "My thoughts exactly."

"Alright" Jake said. "It's decided, Marco Rachel, and Ax go in. Cassie, Tobias and I will make a distraction somehow when we get there and back you guys up."

Erek had been standing by the door, listening to our somewhat dysfunctional meeting. He had a half-amused and half-terrified look on his face.

"Okay, well, good luck you guys. You're going to need it. I'll be in touch if something else comes up." Then he left.

Anyone else get that feeling that darkness has consumed your soul or something? Tobias asked.

I raised my hand.

"Well we should probably all meet back here around 6:30 or so tonight. We have the rest of the day to chill." Jake said. "I have to go help my dad with something. Bye." He waved and let himself out. Tobias and Ax both had a cartoon they wanted to catch, so they left too. Leaving me with Marco and Rachel. I swallowed.

"You guys wanna hang out?" I asked, trying to relieve some of this tension.

"I'm gonna go home and eat my cheesecake." Marco snatched it up and walked away. Okay, good. No fighting. I could relax.

Rachel practically pounced. "So what happened with Jake?"

- - - Okey-doke that's all for now. Short I know. . .but I love you. . .I still have to rewrite that Ax in Halloween fic **sobs over lost fic** WHHHHHYYYYY??!! I want to get it done in time for Halloween (duh. LoL.) And as for that slash fic that was swiped away by Isabel. . .maybe it was best that one was lost in the storm. . .hehehe. . .hmm. . .And hey, jeez, it took me forever to respond to all the previous reviews. Serves me right for waiting so long, LoL. I had to keep most of them short, I didn't want to rant on too long. Anywhoo, review please! And please be specific in telling me which parts sucked monkey, thank you!

THE HAPPY KORNER (w00t w00t!) - 

Amy Angelblade - When it happened I thought the world had gone mad too. But I didn't cry. I was brave. **my dog tugs on my pant leg, begging to differ. I kick him away** Anywhoo I'll meet you at Shawnie's house with a pound of stinky carrots!!

Senydegger - Yeas, poor me **sniff**. That's exactly what I was thinking in those dark hours! "Go to Hell Izzy!!" Thank you for not throwing stuff at me. . .

Pixie13 - I will NEVER forgive for not reviewing my stories!! NEVER!!! Hee hee hee, just playin. Glad you liked all of them. And yeah I know what you mean about the cursing thing. . .I'm 15 and my parents still force me to have a 9 PM curfew. Anyway yeah I hope you keep reading my crap! I won't make you review but it's nice to get some constructive criticism and stuff once in a while. Laders!

Prue Halliwll - Yes, he did! I saw a picture and I spazzed til my eyes were permanently crossed and I could feel my toes. It's evil!! 

Myst4 - I know I promised!! I'm so sorry!! **grabs at Myst's pants leg** pleeeaaaase forgive me!!!!!! **sobs into leg** Pleeeeeeaaaasssseee!!! And yeah I got grounded. They still think 15 is a little kid **rolls eyes** I hated writing it over. I loved it the first time, but the second time it was like. . .I can't explain it. I didn't want to write it over. I wanted to move on to the next chapter, but I couldn't. I love writing. . .but I dunno maybe I'm just being weird **shrug**. As for my teachers, they are all spawns of Satan, so no luck there either. . .

*ROGUE* - No, you have every right to be pissed off. I promised it and I didn't do it. But hey you could always be pissed at me AND sorry for me at the same time, hee hee. So does that quote mean it's gonna get WORSE?? O0o0o I hope not LoL. 

Chelz-Aelle - That review thing happens to me a lot too. I hate it with a passion, hee hee. Thanklyou for forgiving me! I bestow upon you many soft fluffy things!! And it's funny how almost everyone expressed their sympathy over Shawnie's new facial hair. But it is a shame **sobs**. 

SurrealSerpent - **sigh** I'm a growing girl. I need to try everything, LoL. Anyway, It wasn't that serious. It wasn't all that romantic. It was more. . .uh. . .mind-numbingly insane and funny. Well, it was supposed to be. I'm almost glad it's gone. . .but I can't help but have this urge to write it again. . .This is all Jinako-chan's fault!!!

Philip (triple Point) - Yes, the bitterness is strong. . .I think I will still be pissed about this at Christmas. I have to write it all over. . .**cries**. Oh yeah, my English essay! No wonder my teacher was so pissed at me!

BlackOpal - LoL, apparently we aren't the only ones mourning over Shawnie's facial hair. Over half my reviews were trying to console me. Did I mention I love you guys?

Freak show - My story makes you high? AWESOME!!! LoL. I hope this crappy chapter will keep you satisfied enough. . .LoL and the last chapter was supposed to make everyone wonder. Jordan and Sara are just little freaks of nature. 

Misstress of madness - Yes you are talented!! **sneaks into other room and calls the nuthouse** Hee hee, just ordering some pizza! LoL. O0o0o gimme some cheese! Gimmie Gimmie!! Hehe. Actually I'm starting to think Marco is straying from his usual character, but I think he has good reason. . .

Lady Evils - Trust me, there will be more Tobias in this. More than you all probably think. It's not all only gonna be about Marco and Rachel.

Jinako-chan - You know what, I'm going to name a controller Izzy, then kill her off! Thanks for the Idea, Jinako-chan!! Wow I feel a lot better. . .And the Halloween fic I'm planning on rewriting (the slash one too, but SHHH don't tell anyone!!). Paulo Constanzo is hot? Hmm. . .Uhhh. . .I guess he can be. . .**quickly changes subject** Um, Cheese is cool! Anyway, I never completely confirmed whether this was a M/R fic or not. . . but I'm not going to tell you, hehe. My exact words were "Oh, now I haven't really confirmed that theres gonna be R/M, now did I? Hee hee. Aw, heck. Y'all read me like a book. Ain't no surprising any of you. Or so you think. . .**wink**" Hee hee! I think half of you guys WANT M/R and the other half hates it. I'll guaruntee you one thing though: half of you will be disappointed.

Kristen Goddess - I'm planning something with the Nartecs, but I really don't wanna tell you yet, LoL. It's top secret. Only me and my stuffed penguin know what's going on.

Salazarslytherin - LoL yeah, Hi! I think I remember that sn, did you have a different pen name before?

Simply Sara - Thank you!

D.H. L'Orange - Wow, thanks! This chapter might've lacked some funny (unless you got one of those weird senses of humor like me) but I hope you read more! No comment on Rachel's 'tude yet. . .hee hee.

Dslguy - **dances around cuz she got a 8** Go me! Go me!! Oh, I'm dreading to see what this chapter got. . .**crosses fingers for at least a 6**

Oedipal Kat - LoL. I love when I get other people to look weird in front of their friends. Not that I do that a lot **looks innocently at the sky** Thanks for pointing out the comma stuff. I might reupload all of my stories and fix them all up. I make lots of grammar mistakes and psst here's little secret: I hate spellchecking. It's like every other word is spelled wrong. Like they try to substitute "Year" for "yeerk". It annoys me so I usually just give up on that.

Jack Ichijouji - You've seen door slamming somewhere?

DawnOfEast - You got more! Woo-hoo! Or "aw crap", depending if you liked this or not. . .Please don't hate me!


	6. OH HOW COULD YOU, JASON? WAHHHHHHH!

DISCLAIMER: Guess what guess what guess what!!! I have a secret! **leans in really really uber close** I own the Animorphs. . . shhh, but don't tell anyone. Our little secret, 'kay?

**runs away to hide**

NOTE: AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!! My stupid computer got itself infected with a virus. The Q-Hostf virus, to be exact. And it suuuuucks. Couldn't go online for soo long! So, uh, yeah. Just wanted to tell y'all that. . . **yawn** This chapter totally lacks in fun. Oh well. I tried to spice things up with the cheesecake, but didn't work out too well. . .

F-RECAP-LE: _Long story short (because I'm a lazy dookie) they plan for tonight's mission. Re-infiltrating the movie theater and finding out what is in the SHOCKINGLY MYSTERIOUS LOCKED ROOM! Bu-ut because they are teenagers and they make mistake, they are allowing Rachel and Marco to go in with Ax while the others provide a distraction. Will we have some drama and unprecedented retardedness? Oh yes, I think so!!_

Marco - 

"Crap, where the hell did I put it?" I put down my cheesecake and searched my pockets for the key to my house. I found it not in my pocket, but in my sock. I inserted the key and let myself in, carefully picking up my cheesecake.

My dad wasn't home. He had probably already left for work. Oh well, more cake for me. I walked into my less-than-immaculate kitchen and set my cake on the table. After some rummaging around, I finally found a fork.

"Damn, this is good. No way Rachel's mom made this." I said to myself. Then it became too quiet. Wayy too quiet. So I started to talk to the cake.

"Wonder why Rachel's being such a jerk." I muttered. "I mean come one, what else could possibly be stuck up her ass. I know its not just this parents dating thing." The cheesecake had no intelligent comments.

"I mean, it's worse for me! My REAL mom is somewhere out there still alive, and my dad is technically cheating on her. But you don't see ME biting HER head off." Again, the cheesecake just sat there looking delicious.

"Oh God. She didn't poison you did she?" I asked the cheesecake. Nothing.

"Maybe I should go over and confront her. I mean, she's gonna be busting my balls anyway, might as well find something out, right?" I pushed my chair back and opened the fridge. 

"Well, thanks for listening." I picked up my friendly cheesecake and stored him in the fridge. Then I set off to Rachel's house, aka the place of my doom.

In a few minutes I was standing on Rachel's doorstep, wringing my hands. I stared at her doorbell and took a deep breath. 

"Here goes nothin. . ."

DING-DONG!

It was a regular doorbell, not some horror movie theme I was expecting.

"Marrrr-coooo!" Jordan cried. Then she grinned shyly. "Hiiiiiiii!"

"Um, hi, is Rachel home?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I think she just came home. Went straight to her room." She smiled.

I nodded and waited. Jordan just stood there, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "Um, can you get her for me?"

This appeared to make her angry. She rolled her eyes. "Just go up there yourself!" She stalked away into the kitchen.

I grumbled under my breath about girls and puberty. Then I made my way up the steps to where I guessed Rachel's room was. The first door to my left was shut, but on the other side I heard Yu-Gi-Oh blaring. Sara must be in there, I thought. The next door was open. It was a bathroom with two doors facing opposite rooms. One led to Jordan and Sara's room and I assumed the other led to Rachel's. Meaning that the third door with the sign that read "Rachel's Room" must indeed be the room of Rachel. I knocked. I knocked again. I knocked to the beat of Good Charlotte. And sang along with my knocking. No one answered, so I decided Rachel wouldn't have any reason to kill me if I opened her door.

I breathed deep as I made my way for the first and possibly last time into Xena's bedroom. It looked. . .normal. Her bedspread was a light pink and that kind of caught me off guard. So did the half-crumpled Jeremy Jason McCole poster stuffed in her slightly open closet. Her computer was off and there were various forgotten homework papers scattered on the desk. It was neat, unlike my wasteland of a room.

Rachel was nowhere to be seen. But her window was wide open.

"Out with Bird Boy." I snickered. I sat on her bed. "Oooh, bouncy." I did another once over around the room. There was an armless bear sitting on top of a drawer. Figures Rachel would have one of those. There were also some framed pictures. There was one of Rachel and her mother, Rachel and her father, Rachel and her sisters, Rachel and Cassie, and a picture of all of us Animorphs together. 

"Whoa, I am one handsome stud." I commented, not paying attention to the fact that Cassie might actually be inching taller than me. I squinted closer at the photo where Rachel and Tobias stood and noticed where Tobias's hand was. 

"Heheheheh." My eyes wandered to a ripped-open envelope with a letter next to it. The letter was open and written in a professional-looking scrawl. I bit my lip and looked around. Then I did my mother shame and read the note.

_Dear Rachel, _

Hi honey-princess! (I stifled my laughter) _How are you? Teaching your sisters good habits I hope! _(more stifled laughter_) I'm sure Jordan is twice as old as she was when I saw her last month! And I bet Sara could read chapter books now! I'm sure you're mother is fine too, tell her I said hi. _

Anyway sport, you remember the woman I introduced to you 2 weeks ago? Her name was Sheri, with the red hair? Well we've been seeing each other for a while now and we have some news for you. Can you give me a call as soon as you get this letter? I love you Rachel! Tell your sisters I love them too!

Lots of Love, 

Daddy

I instantly felt ashamed for reading the letter. Judging from the dark deep blue pen slash on the bottom of the letter, and the small dent on the side of the drawer, I guessed Rachel made the call and wasn't too happy about what she heard. 

Her father was getting married to the Sheri lady.

It all made sense now. Well, mostly, anyway. I wondered if Jake knew. Or Cassie and Tobias. Probably not, otherwise I'm sure they would've told me too. I backed away slowly from the letter.

WHAT THE HELL!?

I jumped back, tripped, and slammed my shoulder against Rachel's bedframe.

"Owwww!"

MARCO, you DICK!!! Rachel fumed as blew through the window and crash-landed on her bed. She didn't seem to mind, as she had started demorphing in midair. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!?

"Rachel Shhh!" I tried to shush her because I wasn't sure if she was using private thought-speak. I quickly shut and locked Rachel's door. But I knew it was no use, I was in the doghouse. I was in it bad.

SHHH my ASS! Rachel raged. 

"I- I was gonna talk to you. About how we were like, feeling about this parent dating thi-"

"HOW I'M FEELING!?!? I'M FEELING PISSED OFF!!! I'M BEYOND PISSED OFF!" her demorphing complete and she stomped towards the dresser were the letter lay open about a foot from where it was. She snatched it up and waved it very close to my face.

"Now what the hell were you doing?" she demanded in a less angry voice. But her wrath wasn't over, her fist was shaking dangerously at her side.

"Um. . ." for a split second I forgot why I was there and was focusing solely at the fist that was about to come flying into my face. "I just came to talk. Sorry."

"So you waltz into my room and read my stuff!?" she practically screeched.

"I wasn't - "

Uhh Marco, I'm thinking she didn't want an answer to that. Tobias fluttered on the window sill. I hadn't noticed him behind Rachel.

Rachel stuffed the letter back in the envelope so hard she ripped it in half. I started breathing again. Too soon apparently. Her fist connected with my stomach.

"Oof!" I landed on my back.

Rachel! Tobias cried.

Rachel was breathing hard and red in the face. She sort of gaped at me, like she couldn't believe she just did that. Tobias was rapidly morphing human. Rachel blinked, and then slowly sat on her bed, her forehead in her hands.

I sat on the floor looking from Rachel to Tobias and back again. Tobias looked as awkward as I did. I wasn't sure if Rachel was crying, but we both knew Rachel hardly ever cries ever. He looked at me, shrugged, and pointed at the door with his eyes. Then he sat down next to Rachel and put an arm around her.

I took the hint and got up. I looked pointedly at the torn letter on the drawer and back at Tobias. He saw me and frowned confusedly. He didn't know. If Rachel hadn't even bothered to tell Tobias, I knew I was last in line to be told. I let myself out of the room.

You know, I'm sure stuff like that happens to lots of kids around the country, Then they go and get depressed, or suicidal, or they just have a little cry or something. I understood how she felt, it was kind of happening to me too. I clutched my aching stomach. But damn, I didn't go punching people in the gut. I sighed. Only Rachel.

- - -Eh, I didn't have much fun writing this chapter for some reason. . .oh well. Maybe it's because I got the idea from watching a soap opera **blush**. Okay now I'm gonna take a survey. In your review (which you BETTER be writing now, GRRR! LoL) tell me whether you are pro Marco-Rachel or. . .um, what's the opposite of pro? Con? Con Marco-Rachel? Whatever, you know what I mean. This is NOT a vote, I know what I want between those two. I just want to get an idea of how many people will like it and how many people will show up at my doorstep holding pitchforks and torches. Cheers, everyone!

Oh and also, I feel like dirt, not because I haven't showered in about 3 days. . .but because I haven't made an appearance in a while. To make up for it I will be posting the next chapter of this on Sunday, 10/12 AND the first chapter of my pretty little Halloween story. Aaaaand I noticed I got like over 100 reviews already (holy crap! **runs around with a friend made of turkey**) so yet again I got lazy, and I SWEAR the next chapter will have your responses. Ok? Cool. Oh and I'm removing my hurricane excuse. Hehe.


	7. PINK TOILET PAPER AND DISNEY PLATES

DISCLAIMER: MUAHAHAHAHAA! I am the almighty Freak Apple! The idiot in a land of no idiots, the advocate of losers, inspiration to all who don't plan on achieving anything in life, owner of. . .**whispers** Animorphs? **clap of thunder. Freak Apple is reduced to a pile of stinky ashes** 

NOTE: Nothing much to say here except I almost updated the first chapter of my little Halloween story. Onward!

F-RECAP-LE: _Marco tries to work things out with Rachel, but ends up "accidently-on-purpose" snooping around Rachel's belongings. He finds out why Rachel is being all PMS-like and stuff, but unfortunately Rachel finds him reading her stuff and busts a cap on his ass. _

Rachel - 

"Rachel, I don't think he meant to do anything. . ." Tobias broke the silence cautiously.

I wasn't crying, like they both probably thought. But seeing Marco reading what I've been stressing over made my head throb. I didn't want him to know. I didn't want anyone to know. Fighting the yeerks, becoming animals, saving the world, THAT stuff was what I did. Xena was NOT supposed to be bothered by her parents both going off and seeing other people and moving on. No, that was a normal people problem. Hell, some normal people weren't even bothered by it.

Why me?

Tobias continued to rub my back, but he did it awkwardly. Like he wasn't sure it was okay. That was understandable since it wasn't everyday I lost it and. . .did I hit Marco??

"Oh crap, I hit Marco." I looked up.

"Well, yeah. Rachel, what's wrong?" Tobias tried to force me to make eye contact. I looked away at the half-open door.

"Nothing. Just pissed off that Marco was snooping around in my room."

"You know, I'm sure he didn't come here for that. You probably should've heard him out."

He was right. Now my damn conscience was telling me to go to Marco's house and apologize. To Marco. 

I massaged my temples. "Fine. I'm going."

Tobias nodded. "Alright, I'll be with Ax, in case. . .you know. . ." His eyes darted to the torn letter.

"Thanks Tobias."

He looked somewhat disappointed, but he morphed anyway and took off. After he was out of sight I prepared to morph too.

"Hey Rachel what were you yelling at Marco for?" Jordan appeared suddenly in the doorway. 

"None of your business."

"So you two aren't together, right?"

I recoiled. "Oh heeell no!"

"Awesome!" she grinned.

"But you know since mom is dating his dad, it would almost be like you have a crush on your brother."

That wiped the grin off her face. "Ewwwww! Rachel you're gross!" She ran away down the hall. I shut the door and prepared to morph again, but I stopped. Marco came to my house human. And for some reason, I thought I should do the same.

A couple minutes later I was at Marco's house. There was no car in the driveway, so my guess was that Marco's dad was at work. And I knew Marco had no life, so I bet he was in his room playing Gamecube or something.

I tried the door. It was unlocked.

"Dumbass." I muttered and stepped in. Fake explosions and cartoon voices drifted down from the upstairs. In his kitchen there was an empty pizza box and the cupboard was open to reveal tons of paper plates, which all had various Disney characters. I did not see one real plate or any silverware. 

This must be how boys live. 

I quietly went up the stairs, following the "Woo-hoo"s and the "Ka-BOOM!"s. The bathroom was open as I walked by. I noticed the pink toilet paper.

I finally got to Marco's room. The door was half-open and Marco was on the floor ogling at the TV. Some old cartoon about super heroes was on. He had my mom's cheesecake in his lap.

"So you know, I heard colored toilet paper was bad for your ass." I leaned on his doorframe.

"What - " he jumped and almost dropped his cheesecake.

"The pink dye and stuff." 

He stared at me like I had two heads. "What are you doing here?"

"What, you're not letting me in?"

"Depends. You gonna hit me again?"

I rolled my eyes and let myself in. I made myself comfortable in his desk chair. Marco set the cheesecake on his bed and looked at me expectantly. 

"Alright. I'm sorry for punching you."

"Okay."

Silence.

"Marco, I didn't want anyone to know."

He snorted. "Yeah I kind of figured that. Sort of explains why there's a dent in my stomach."

"It's not like it's a big deal or anything. . ."

He snorted again.

"Ok fine, I think it is. But it's not bothering me."

Another derisive snort.

"Stop doing that before I punch you again!"

Marco ran a hand through his overly conditioned, Herbal Essence-model-wannabe hair. "Listen Rachel, I just went over to ask you what was up. I'm sorry I read your thing."

"Okay."

Another stretch of silence.

"So could you not tell anyone?" I said finally.

"Fine."

Yet another silence. Some guy in tights got blown up in the background.

"You know, now I kind of understand how you must feel." I said.

Marco shrugged. "I guess. Well, not really. It's not like my real mom is romantically involved with Visser One. . .oh gross. . ." We both cringed at the thought.

"Still. We're both kind of losing a parent. . " then I realized what I said. "Well, actually I'm not really losing my dad, and your mom, um, we can. . ."

Marco held up a hand. "I know what you mean. But there's a difference Rachel. If we do win this war, my parents could still have a chance. My dad still loves my mom, even though he's dating yours. And I know my mom loves my dad. But your parents. . .no matter what - "

"Okay, okay." I interrupted him. I didn't want to hear it. 

"Yeah. So whichever one of us is worse off, depends on your point of view."

I looked at Marco. The midget. The dork. The everlasting thorn in my butt.

"You almost seem kind of human." I told him.

He feigned a shocked look. "I'm flabbergasted! Forgive me, Xena."

"Well there goes the human thing."

He winked at me. "So you're saying you dig the serious Confucius-type Marco?"

"You're very retarded." I got up to leave.

"Oh, you're into mentally disabled guys?"

"Shut up."

"You won't stay for some. . .dessert. . .?" he said in a pseudo-seductive voice.

"I'm leaving now, dorko."

"Okay. Well I'm always around if you need anything." Marco said. "You know, to 'play the Cassie.'"

He said this seriously. I turned around and saw him. He wasn't grinning like an idiot.

"That would be because you've got no life." I said and I shut the door behind me. I heard a pillow hit the door followed by a loud laugh.

- - - A little short, but go read my Halloween thing if you absolutely need something to read to kill time. Anyway, I was very VERY surprised at how many people were against Marco-Rachel. I coulda sworn at least half of you swayed that way. Hmm, oh well that changes nothing LoL. Oh yeah, and I don't thing you can be "con-something". LoL, my mistake. You can be "pro-something", but not "con". LoL go figure. You can say your "against" though. Or even "anti - ". So sorry to those of you (almost all of you) that used con cuz I'm an idiot who told you to do that. LoL **blushes and hides face in shame**

THE HAPPY KORNER!!!

Chelz Aelle - Myrtle. . .hm, I can use that. . .LoL. Alright, I will allow Myrtle the Turtle to make a cameo. **steals Myrtle** I'll take reeeeaaally good care of him, I promise **starts a pot of boiling water** And. . .WHAT!? Daniel! I thought we had something special!! **sob**

Jinako-chan - Rachel-baby? Hmmm, ok you can call her that. **whispers to Rachel. She glares evilly at Jinako** La la la. LoL. Yeah, aren't Rachel and Tobias just the cutest little thing? Awwww. And I chose not to let Rachel tell Tobias yet. I plan on using that to screw something else up, so that comes later maybe. LoL "playing around with cheesecake." Makes me think of American Pie. OH, thank you for that image **glares**. And hey, Marco is a curious little monkey. He can search through any room he wants, LoL. 

Freak show - Okey dokey, one more for the R/T tally. Serious chapters are boring to write. I had to spice it up with Marco talking to a cheesecake **shrug**. Anyway, glad you liked it.

UltraBeing - So you're with the whole friendship with Marco and Rachel like Jinako-chan. Cool. I will check out your fic later today or maybe tomorrow (no school, COLUMBUS DAY!). 

SurrealSerpent1 - Not so benign intentions? **not sure what that means, but hinds under the bed anyways** Oh and Jason is this guy on the soap opera **blush** that I got some ideas from. . .am I a bad person now?

SouthrnBelle - We all love the Marco-Rachel bickering. In fact, you could say they fight like a married couple! **look away intentionally. . .or so you THINK** LoL. 

*ROGUE* - you've got a point. Losing Rachel would totally screw up Tobias, who's already way screwed up to begin with. Hmm. . .interesting. . .

Prue Halliwell - Thanks! And LoL its weird, not one person is pro M/R. . .

Dr. Billy Bobby Bob - Aw, thank you for thinking my story is crap in a meaninglessly funny inoffensive way! That's so sweet! LoL. Yeah the number of reviews freaked me out too. It's pretty creepy since my first story had 19 chapters and only pulled 97 reviews. Hmm, I should start a cult. . . Hey maybe by "sexist" you meant "sexiest"? **bellydances seductively** w00t w00t! LoL.

Philip (Triple Point) - The fingerprint thing did cross my mind. But I always thought that you need a criminal record to match the prints to before they can identify them. But I'm not sure, I'll have to check up on that somehow. But if that's true I will put it in my story somehow. Thanks Mr. Triple Point! (Hey, have I ever asked you what triple point means yet?)

Amy Angelblade - Yup yup, Tobes is human! Weee! But really, how are he and Rachel ever gonna round the bases if he doesn't start going human more often? LoL. Ohhhh, and writing this made me feel like cheesecake too!! Hey pssst, Amy, **whispers** if you save the documents as HTML or "web page" on Microsoft Word, the little arrow thingies will show up.


	8. THE DAY AX'S HEAD EXPLODED

DISCLAIMER: To not me belong Animorphs do The. Very is Freak sad Apple. Is She lowly author fanfiction. Apple poor Freak. Money no has she.

NOTE: **sigh** I guess I'm gonna have to get the plot going, huh? Damn plots. . .**kicks plots in the happy parts**

F-RECAP-LE: _Marco and Rachel made up and seem to be on relatively good terms. Hey, is that all that happened?? Dang, LoL all those words just for that. Oh well._

Ax - 

"There is a slight breeze today. Bree-zuh. The temperature is maintaining a comfortable 65 degrees Fahrenheit, and sources say there is very little chance for any precipitation." I reported casually to my friend. "Though you're primitive weather forecasting devices are no doubt less than precise."

Tobias responded distractedly. Alright, Ax-man. . .

"Though your Doppler Radar is quite interesting. It uses laughably ancient technology, yet it performs feats even Andalite equipment has not surpassed." I thought for a moment. "At least since I've been there last."

Yup.

"Which reminds me. Your Earth atmosphere is denser than my own planet's by several units. In fact, I believe the pressure exerting on my Andalite skull is about three trillion torr more than my usual pressure. I fear that in a matter of minutes my head will implode and crush my central nervous system and I will not be able to participate in tonight's mission."

Uh-huh. Wait, WHAT!? Tobias gave me his full attention.

"Tobias, I merely stated a fallacy to get your attention." I explained. "Is something the matter?"

A fallacy?? You told a joke Ax. That's what it was.

"Really?"

Yeah.

"Oh. You have not answered my question." I said.

Which was. . .

"What's the matter?"

He ruffled his feathers. And looked me directly in the eye. Nothing, Ax.

Normally when one looks into your eyes, you can tell if they are lying or not. Unfortunately, hawk eyes give nothing away. "Are you thinking about Rachel?"

Tobias looked startled. Actually no, I'm not. I'm thinking about the mission tonight.

I didn't doubt it. "Are you nervous?"

Kind of. Not really that kind of nervous though. I'm almost even. . .kind of excited. . .

"Excited?"

I can't explain it Ax. But it's just. . .something. . .

I watched as he ruffled uncomfortably. "We should go now-wuh. The others will be waiting."

I had morphed my human form, since I had to walk into Cassie's barn while her parents where home. It was a little early, but Jake had informed everyone we should be "getting a move on". 

Let's go, then. He flapped his wings and rose above the treetops before I even took a step. When we arrived at the barn, only Cassie was there, sweeping some hay carelessly under a rug. 

"Oh, hi. Um, I was. . ." Cassie looked embarrassed.

We didn't see anything. Tobias assured her. Cassie sighed and put down the broom.

"Well, it's been a tough week. I'm way behind on the cleaning."

Yeah, tough week. I'll say. Tobias muttered. Cassie and I looked curiously up at him, but he appeared not to have noticed.

"Anyway, the others should be here in like - "

Five seconds.

"You're such a freak." Rachel laughed from outside.

"You know you like it." Marco replied.

"No, YOU like it, because I don't hurt nutcases. That's morally wrong."

"Cool. Did I mention you're looking HOT toda- OW!" Marco cried. "Hate crime!"

Rachel and Marco appeared in the doorway, and both tried to squeeze in at the same time. After a short scuffle, Rachel popped in first. Cassie raised an eyebrow. I watched Rachel and Marco. I never could tell if they really hated each other or whether they secretly. . .

"Okay guys, we need to hurry." Jake came in last, wringing his hands. Behind him stood Erek. "Erek says he can put up a hologram to hide Rachel, Marco and Ax while they do their thing."

"Thanks Erek." Cassie said.

"No problem."

Jake looked at his wristwatch. "Let's do this now. We could use a head start."

Marco gaped. "Now? It's like, 5!"

"I agree. We do not know how long this will take." I agreed. "It may take several of your hours."

"OUR. . .oh forget it." Marco looked exasperated. I thoroughly understood his reasoning about the time units being everyone's units here on earth, but I found his obsession with this fact entertaining. I always have.

"Let's do it!" Rachel led the way out of the barn. We had to morph in the relatively secluded forest, since Cassie's parents could walk in at any moment. A few minutes later, five seagulls and a red-tailed hawk rose over the forest flying to the area my friends referred to as "downtown". 

Holy shizznit!! Marco cried.

What!? Jake asked, startled out of the silence.

Look at that guy scratching his armpit near the entrance!

Rachel almost fell out of the sky. What - Marco you idiot!

No, I see what Marco is saying. He is concealing a dracon beam. I said

Wonderful. Hey, I see Erek. Tobias said. Below us a familiar oval of hair was leaning against a post, successfully looking like an average human youth. Chee holograms were very impressive. I had no doubt that he would be able to conceal Rachel, Marco and I inside the theater.

Hey, Erek. We'll meet you in that alley behind the building. Jake called.

Erek flickered ever so slightly to show that he'd heard. Then he walked away casually. We followed him to the alley we used to gain entrance last time. Rachel, Marco and I landed on the dumpster.

Okay, so you guys demorph. Erek will do some hologram thing so next time a door opens you can get it. Try to control yourselves. I knew he was speaking to all three of us. And we'll stay out here as back up. Tell us when the filter's disabled.

Try to control ourselves? It's like he doesn't trust us or something. Marco said innocently.

Well the two of you together can make things quite volatile. I pointed out.

Volatile? Dude, speak English.

It is English.

Okay, guys? Shush, let's get this over with. Rachel began to demorph. Erek waited patiently until we were all human. Then I felt more than saw a ripple swoop around.

"Whoa." Rachel looked around. Everything seemed normal.

That was creepy. Cassie said from above.

"What happened?" Marco asked.

"We're invisible. They can't see us." Erek stood before us in his natural form. Or what would be his natural form, had he been actually "natural".

"Cool, so I could moon them and they wouldn't know?" Marco said brightly.

"Dumb-ass, why would you moon someone without them knowing?" Rachel muttered.

"What is mooning?" I asked.

Marco grinned. "See Ax, you know those fleshy - "

"I sometimes can't believe the fate of the world rests in your hands." Erek interrupted. His mechanical face didn't show much, but I could tell he was amused.

"Same here." Rachel said.

You guys, someone's coming. That controller. Tobias called.

"Shhh." Rachel hissed at us unnecessarily.

"Duh." Marco whispered. Rachel punched him in the shoulder. Silently.

The controller dressed in his movie theater uniform stomped into the alley, looking disgruntled. He grabbed the doorknob of the large gray door and pulled it open angrily, causing it to swing wide and almost scrape Erek's face. He stormed inside.

"Come on." Rachel breathed. We followed the controller quickly and silently through the door and into a very disorganized storage room. The controller pulled open another door and we followed him again, doing our best to keep our footsteps silent. It wasn't hard, because our bare human feet were conveniently soft, though vulnerable to all the scarps of construction laying around. Finally we were in a red hallway, plastered with pictures of various movies. 

"I smell butter and grease." I whispered.

Rachel shook her head and pointed down the hallway at doors labeled with different letters. It was time to start this mission. 

- - - That's the end of Chapter 8. Wow, I wrote lots of chapters already, I haven't even got started yet. LoL dontcha love how I've wasted all y'alls time? Anyway, yeah, please read and review. Any little thing that bothers you please tell me. I actually do want constructive criticism. Though all the good stuff you say does make me feel warm inside and makes me blush. **blush** Well, go read you Happy Korner whilst I wipe the sweat from my armpits (the heaters on the fritz). Oh and word to the wise: do not think the printer is a good place to keep a cupcake. Four months from now you will not be pleased at the result.

THE HAPPY KORNER (I didn't forget anyone this time, did I? No I didn't! MUAHA! **blush**)

Philip Triple Point - **stares** something could be a solid, gas AND liquid at the same time!? Whoa. . .that's cool. And freaky. And even freakier that I understood all that. Anyway, how could you not like Rage-el. . .err. . .Rachel and Whine. . .err, Marco?? LoL. Hey maybe they should kill each other off? Hmm. Hee hee. Lada, Dr. Triple Point (I gave you a Ph.d cuz your smart. LoL)

Misstresso of madness - Sorry I didn't respond to you! I must have accidently looked past your name! Please don't hate me! I love you! And your creepy voice thing that sometimes gives me nightmares!! **kisses your feet** Forgive me! Anyway, to respond to that, I don't remember what my threat was in that fic. But I will check and think about it LoL. Again, please forgive me! And thank you for being the oddball and bein pro Marco and Rachel. LoL!

Taylor Marin - Holy crap, I've been falling behind in reading L. Emmist's story! Egads, I need to catch up. Actually his story The Wheel was the first fanfic I ever read, and that's what made me decide to write too. **sigh*8 I wanna be L. Emmist when I grow up! LoL. Anyway yeah, the chapters were out of order. I have no idea how they got like that, but thanks for telling me! **gives Taylor a basket of fuzzy cute things** Anyway, they're in order now.

Freak show - ok, ok I won't let Rachel and Marco get together. **crosses fingers** Have a nice day, LoL **gives freak more chocolate**

Amy Angelblade - "Amy runs her hand through her hair and tugs it out quickly, realising there is cheese hidden in there" LMAO!! I don't know why, but that made me fall out of my chair laughing. I've got a cheese-shaped bruise in my shoulder now, which is kinda cool and ironic. **blushes** and you rock too!

Dr. Billy Bobby Bob - pseudo means fake. At least that's what they tell me. IF it doesn't then forget I ever used it, LoL. Your not a freak for being pro Marco/Rachel. In fact, I find it rather attractive **bats eyes** LoL!

UltraBeing - Happy Columbus day to you too! Gah, I needed that, my Columbus day sucked. And now I'm going to hell cuz I laughed at a running midget. Which has nothing to do with anything and you probably hate me now. I should stop talking. See ya!

Silent Bob 546 - **blush** (gee, I've been blushing a lot) I don't write the best stories. The most retarded so everyone is brainwashed into reading, maybe, but not the best. And maybe they will live together who knows? Well, I do, but you don't. MUAHAHAHAHA!

D.H. L'Orange - LoL I'm characterizing Jordan and Sara from expirience. Let's hope I never have kids, LoL. Wow, you know it's always weird people think I write like an Animorph book. I'm just spilling crap out from my brain. Anyway, I'm glad you like my version of the Animorphs. Lada, DH!

DawnOfEAst - Daaaaang, girl. I was wondering were you were at! Hehe, I live to confuse people, Dawn. Good to know I'm doing my job.

Chelz aelle - o0o0o long and pretty review. Let's see . .I see Nintendo and Cabbage Patch kids in it. . .interesting. **rubs chin** Yep, this is a very pretty review! LoL. I go to school in NY too, hehe. I guess I'm just a lucky New Yorker, huh?

BlackOpal - Love triangles make me very red. Hee hee. You didn't understand the parent thing? Hm, well actually, I didn't really either (shhh don't tell anyone). But basically I was trying to Marco Rachel and Marco relate. To fool you all into thinking they belong together. Oops! I didn't say that!

Jinako-chan - LoL. Poor Jordan. Rachel-baby?? **stares** Ummm. . .well. . .ahem. . .yeah, I'm making a #7 situation since I am uncreative and unable to make anything else up. LoL. Well, it will serve it's purpose, anyway. And I need my threads of fate fix, so you get to it! (by the way, I LOVE the Lion King. Even though I laughed when Mufasa died. **nods** yeah, I'm going to hell)


	9. THE REALLY REALLY LATE CHAPTER

DISCLAIMER: …::sob:: I don't DESERVE them!!

NOTE: Well, ah, cough. Long time no see, eh? Haven't updated since, oh, 10/19/03. blush been a good 15 months, hasn't it? You look good. Healthy. Yup…sorry. Read my author profile, they really jazzed those things up, didn't they?)

And also, no matter WHAT I do (I've tried like, everything) the standard >'s for thoughtspeak will not would not work! The squiggly thingies, asterisks and the square brackets don't work either, they just disappear! So, as much as it pains me to do this, the slashes "/" will have to suffice. I know, it hurts me too. ::sob:: If anyone can help me out with this, please tell me! If not by review, then email me Please! Pleaaase! I will love you forever and I have coupons!!

F-RECAP-LE: _Honestly, I think you guys are better off just re-reading. It has been a long time…::again, blush::  
_

Jake –

Tobias, Cassie, and I stood perched on the roof of the movie theater, shooting each other wary glances.

/Think we should start the distraction now?/ Tobias wondered.

I seagull-waddled closer to the ledge. /Marco? Ax? Rachel? You guys ready down there? Erek?/

There was a moment of silence, and then:

/Yes, Prince Jake. Please./ Ax's thought-speak voice replied, a tinge of desperation evident in his voice. Uh-oh.

/What's going on down there?/ Cassie asked.

/We are near the guarded doors in question, but Rachel and Marco seem to be arguing./

/What?!/ Tobias yelped. /Tell them to shut up! What happened?!/

/Oh, they are not making any noise. They are merely looking at each other silently with fiercely violent expressions. I'm a little afraid that this tense situation might result in an explosion of - / he paused, / - and now the two of them a glaring at me and although my Andalite body lacks the proper glands, I think I may be sweating.../

I rolled my eyes. I heard Tobias snicker.

/Two massive human Controllers are guarding the doors./ he continued. My pulse quickened.

/Okay guys, sit tight. One distraction, coming right up./

/Yeah, fast./ Tobias assured them.

/Very./ Cassie added.

Tobias launched off the roof, taking care to stay out of sight from the Controllers, and gave Cassie and I some cover as we demorphed. The roof of the theater was barren save for a few exhaust pipes, a door leading down into the building, and scattered piles of extra cinderblocks and bricks that looked like they'd been there since the Middle Ages.

"Were did you put the barbecue lighter?" I asked Cassie. Yeah. Take a wild guess what our brilliant distraction was going to be. Cassie reached into a large exhaust pipe sticking out of the roof of the theater and pulled out a long red lighter.

"I cannot believe we are about to commit arson." Cassie said, flicking nervously at the trigger.

"It's for humanity's own good." I said firmly. We made our way to the door that led down into the top floor of the building. As we expected, it was locked from the inside. I looked to Cassie, but I saw her arm already started.

Shiny brown fur coated her now muscled forearm, and her fist curled into a stump and hardened into a dark horse-hoof.

"I'll never get over how good you are at that." I commented, smiling. She smiled back and prepared to slam her horse hoof down at the doorknob. Suddenly…

Click.

The doorknob turned. Our eyes grew wide. Cassie darted behind a pile a cinder blocks and I dove in after her. Unfortunately, I realized my error too late: the pile of cinder blocks was way too small to hide the both of us. My sheer weight forced Cassie, thankfully all human by now, to tumble out from behind her hiding place. She looked torn between being angry and scared.

/Guys! Someone's coming up there!/

Gee. Thanks Tobias.

I reached out to pull Cassie back with me anyway, but the door swung open and Cassie kicked my hand away. I pulled it back. It hurt.

"Oh man, Tony, this place is gonna REEK!" a slightly slurred voice proclaimed. It sounded vaguely familiar.

"Come on, Chase. Find that damn exhaust pipe; we don't have all friggin day!" a slightly deeper, but certainly not more intelligent-sounding voice answered.

Two big guys, kids who go to our school, appeared on the roof. I knew them; they were on the football team. They were also the poster-children for mindless troublemakers. Big, mean, and barely enough brain cells to function. I doubted that even a yeerk would think twice before infesting one of them.

/Oh man, oh man, oh man. Tony and Chase? Jake can I please dive bomb them? Just a little?/

I seriously considered his offer. I knew Tobias must have had countless run-ins with the bullies back when he went to our school, and these two were more or less the crown princes of bullydom.

"Hey Tony, there's like…somebody there!"

Cassie froze as the two lummoxes averted their eyes onto her. I noticed Tony had a small cardboard box clutched in his pudgy fist. Both of them smelled strongly of alcohol and a certain smoking substance not exactly legal in the United States.

/Weed./ Tobias noted. /And beer. Jeez, it's not even dark yet!/

I started to emerge from behind the cinder blocks, but Cassie glared at me and I stayed put.

"What?" I mouthed silently.

"Hi…" Cassie ignored me and waved at Tony and Chase.

"Hey, I know you!" Tony pointed a meaty finger at her. "You're in my English class!"

I seriously doubted this, unless Cassie was secretly going to preschool and learning her ABC's.

"Umm, no, we have gym." Cassie corrected him sweetly, in a tone of voice I recognized as the one she used when talking to big rabid animals.

"Oh, yeah, Gym. Same thing." For some reason he punched Chase in the shoulder with a snicker and Chase joined him in laughing. Loud, hearty guffaws.

Good grief.

"Yeah. Same thing…"

"You're name is like…Carly. Or Kendra. Dude, you're totally Kendra."

/I hate to interrupt this thought-provoking exchange…/ Tobias interjected. /But we've really got to get going./

"Um, sorry to cut this short, guys, but I've got to go." Cassie got up and brushed off her jeans.

"Hold on." Chase scratched his head, just now realizing that their classmate probably shouldn't be holding a barbecue lighter on the roof of a closed movie theater. "What are you doing here?"

"Ummm…I…uhh…"

"Hey, were you gonna _punk_ this place?" Comprehension dawned on Chase's face. It was disturbing, like watching a pig give birth.

"Punk…?" Cassie looked puzzled for a moment. "Oh! You mean pull a prank! I – "

"Dude!" Chase turned to Tony. "Dude! She musta been the one who knocked over all the projectors!"

They both looked at Cassie in awe.

"Don't worry, we ain't gonna tell." Tony assured her, with a mischievous look on his face. "But that was so awesome! You have to show us how you did that!"

Cassie stared at them. "But - "

"You should be on that show with that dude from that show." Tony rambled drunkenly. "You know, that dude with the trucker hat? He's on that show…about like, the 70s, bro. And he has this, like, other show, dude! That one called….like, 'Punk'd' or whatever where he plays tricks on suckas. Yo you should have a show, man, cause that projector thing was awesome! You made the paper! And…uh…" Tony wrinkled his forehead; apparently he had confused himself.

Cassie decided to play along. "Cool, so you think I'm Ashton Kutcher caliber then?"

"That's his name!" the two guys looked at Cassie like she was some guru. My eye roll was so severe I was almost afraid they heard it.

"Look!" Chase grabbed Cassie by the arm and dragged her toward the exhaust pipe. I bit back the urge to tackle him and watched them closely. Tony opened the cardboard box he was holding, but the label was too small for me to read.

/Acme Stink Pellets?/ Tobias read aloud.

"Acme stink pellets?" Cassie echoed.

"Yeah!" Chase declared gleefully, happy to share their pranks with a fellow mastermind. We watched as Tony emptied the box into the exhaust pipe. The pellets clinked all the way down until they hit what I assumed was a ventilation shaft.

"It's gonna stink so bad in there!" Tony laughed evilly. "Its nowhere near as good as your kick-ass prank, but its close, right?"

"Uh…yeah…listen, you better get out of here before they catch you." Cassie urged them.

Chase turned on her. "Nobody tells Chase what to do." His eyes narrowed. "What were you _really_ going to do up here?"

Tony cracked his knuckles loudly. It finally occurred to them that their little Punk'd episode had a witness.

"I was…uh…"

"You weren't planning on busting us, where you?" Tony demanded threateningly. Ah, this was the Tony and Chase Tobias and I knew. They had been acting far too kind and loveable until now. The drugs and alcohol must have been wearing off.

/Jake? Dive-bomb?/

I was in mid-nod when Cassie made it apparent that it would be unnecessary.

"Okay, I lied. I was going to meet my uh…marijuana-seller…up here." Cassie squeaked.

I caught Tobias's shadow stagger a bit in the sky.

/Marijuana-seller!? Marijuana _seller_!?/

Tony and Chase looked confused.

"Yeah." Cassie said a little more strongly. "That's why I have a lighter up here. I was going to…uh…light up."

I nearly coughed.

"It's a barbecue lighter." Chase pointed at it.

"Um, I, uh…I like my…blunts…extra hot…?"

I stared at her incredulously.

/Jake? Jake? Did she really just say that?/

To my complete surprise, Chase looked around cautiously, as if he expected a cop to come skipping out from behind something. He leaned in to Cassie's ear.

"Girl, think you can hook us up later? Me and Tony, yo, we smoked the last of our stash."

"S-sure…"

Chase grinned and patted her on the back. "Kick-ass, Kendra. You are so kick-ass."

"For real, dawg." Tony agreed. Then he looked back at the door. "C'mon, Chase. We've got to sneak out of here before they find us!" Tony and Chase cackled as they barreled to the door and stomped loudly down the stairs.

"Dude! We punk'd the movies!"

"Bet Kashton Butcher never punk'd a whole building before!" Their voices fell silent as they snuck out however they way they got in.

I emerged from behind the blocks. Cassie looked at me. I looked at her.

/…What the hell? / Tobias wondered. /How the heck did they even get all the way up here?/

I shrugged. "Breaking and entering is like, their life."

/Prince Jake? Tobias? Cassie? Have you caused the distraction yet?/ Ax called faintly.

I looked up at Tobias. "Tell them to give us like, 5 minutes."

/Five minute, guys. Hang in there./

/Okay…/

Cassie opened the roof door and looked down the stairs. "All clear."

I gathered the hay from Cassie's barn that we had stashed there earlier and together we made a small pile. I tossed some hay to from a trail leading down the stairs. From there, everything else should catch fire nicely.

"Ready?" I asked.

"I can see my face on a Wanted poster now." Cassie smiled nervously and lit the hay with her lighter, which apparently could be used to make 'extra hot blunts'. I smirked.

"What?" Cassie asked.

"Nothing."

Immediately the hay burst into flames. It was so sudden, that our faces were almost seared from the heat. I quickly shut the door, which instantaneously began to heat up. Puffs of smoke leaked from the cracks at the bottoms and sides of the doorframe.

"Well, cross your fingers." I told Cassie. She nodded and we proceeded to morph back into seagulls. Tobias swooped down to snatch the lighter and dispose of the evidence.

/I hope Tony and Chase made it out fast enough./ Cassie said.

/To tell the truth, I don't really care./ Tobias huffed.

/What did they ever do to you back in school? Cassie asked. I mean, besides the fact that they are potheads drunk off their rockers in broad daylight and have the combined intelligence of a speed bump-/

/There are smarter speed bumps./ I cut in.

/Let's just say the alcohol must've given them temporary consciences. They have no morals, and if it weren't for this whole morph-away-injuries thing I still wouldn't be able walk right and there would be no chance of any little Tobiases in the future./

Cassie and I flinched.

/Yeah. But if I had some 'extra hot blunts' from a 'marijuana-seller' I'm sure I would've felt a little better./

I laughed. If Cassie wasn't a bird, she would have blushed.

/Well excuse me if I'm not hip to he latest illegal drug lingo. I had to cut health that day because I believe we had some world-saving to do./

* * *

2ND NOTE: Did I mention I was sorry? Anyway, please read and review. This is the first thing I've written in a loooooooooooooong while and I may have gotten a little rusty. Assuming I had anything to rust in the first place blush and, uh, I don't really have time to write a Reader's Response for this chapter, but for the next one, w00t w00t!

Lastly, I made a livejournal :D AND joined 2 Animorphs communities. Y'all should join, 'tis good! My livejournal username is FreakApple, come visit me!


	10. ACTION n PINA COLADAS? SQUEE!

DISCLAIMER: Okay, here's the real reason I was gone for so long: K.A. Applegate heard about the times I joked about owning the Animorphs, and she was not amused so one day as I was diligently typing out a chapter some big guys in black government-type suits and shades barged in to my room and - ::chip in brain starts to sizzle:: - AHHH!!!!! ::twitch, twitch::

NOTE: Okay, I'm saying sorry again this time for TWO reasons. One, the same as before. Sorry for the obscenely long break in the story. Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! And two, ::blush::, uh, okay hear me out. In the year and some odd months that I've been missing in action, uh….I seem to have…forgotten specifically what I had planned. I mean, I remember the story okay…just not all the little details. So it's going to get messy while I try to bridge the gaps. By messy, I mean there will be moments of blatantly obvious "hah, way to backtrack/make excuses". I'll do my best to bring some sense back, but the most obvious moments will be isolated to just this chapter. And, well, the one before.

Again, ::blush::

F-RECAP-LE: _Jake, Cassie, and Tobias provide the distraction, they meet the resident brainless farts of censored city name where they live, and Cassie displays her extensive knowledge of drug terms :D Onward!_

Marco –

"Did they torch the place yet?" I whispered impatiently. Rachel glared and stomped on my foot. I nearly yelped.

"Shh!" she hissed unnecessarily. We had already moved away from the Controller guards, since Jake and the others were taking their sweet little time providing their freaking "distraction". Now Erek had us hidden around the corner, since for some reason Ax wasn't comfortable with us being so close within earshot to the Controllers. Apparently the fact that Rachel and I were shooting death glares and strangling each other in our minds each distressed him a little.

We weren't even sure what we were fighting about. It was like the simple fact that I existed annoyed her out of her psychotic little Xena-mind. Well, if she was going to be that way, I was going to make it likewise.

I could glare down PMSing blondies like no other.

"_If you like pina coladas…"_ one of the controllers began to murmur.

Rachel, Erek, and I nearly snapped our necks as we craned around and stared at the thickly muscled Controller, completely startled out of our death stares. He was humming.

"_Getting caught in the rain_…" he continued. The other controller looked at him sternly.

"What are you doing?"

"My damn host has this cursed human song stuck in our head. I think he did it on purpose."

"I hate when the little bastards do that."

"Me too."

Silence.

"It's stuck in my host's head now too." The other controller grumbled.

_"If you're not into yoga…"_

_"If you have half a brain…"_

Now Ax was staring. We gaped at our two mortal enemies as they started to get into it. I silently applauded the poor guys whose brains these yeerks stole. Apparently getting a song stuck in a yeerk's head was a weakness. Wow, that was right up there with that whole oatmeal thing.

_"If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.__ I'm the love that you've looked for. Write to me and escape."_ They sang, keeping their military-like composure the entire time.

Rachel rubbed the bridge of her nose. "If they don't hurry up with the distraction I think I might just go up there and punch them both out right now."

-(Yeerks.)- Ax seethed.

After a few more verses, we were getting desperate, all death-glares and tense silences forgotten. _The Pina Colada Song_ floated mercilessly through our minds, suppressing all our functional systems. I swore, I was going to explode.

Oh no….no…

Now it was stuck in _my_ head.

"You know, at this point I don't think I would mind if the guy who wrote that song was hit by a large motor vehicle." I muttered.

Erek sort of shuffled his feet. Rachel gaped at him.

"No way." Rachel whispered.

"Um…yeah. I sold it to Rupert Holmes in England nearly two decades ago in my previous life." Erek mumbled embarrassedly.

Four eyes plus Ax's four that had been staring transfixed at the singing Controllers now averted to Erek.

-(But why?)- Ax asked with the total exasperation of a teenage alien in human guise sitting in an evil movie theater listening to guys toting ray guns sing raspy, warbled versions of _The Pina Colada Song_.

"It was a hobby, okay?" Erek whispered defensively.

"Well, okay, since you're a friend I don't wish harm upon you." I said. "I wish harm upon the guy who invented the Pina Colada."

Erek looked away uncomfortably.

"Good _Lord_, Erek!?"

"Hey - "

Just then Erek was interrupted by a really, _really_ inappropriate smell wafted around my nostrils.

"Oh…that's putrid…" I whispered, making a face. I looked pointedly at Rachel. Thankfully Erek was between us, probably on purpose, and Rachel wasn't able to dismember me.

"It wasn't me, you idiot." Rachel snarled quietly, holding her nose shut. The both of us looked at Ax, since it wasn't likely the resident android could be having troubles with the bean burrito he had for lunch.

-(What are you suggesting!?)- Ax cried, offended.

"I think I'm about to pass out." I squeezed my nostrils shut and my eyes began to water.

"Those guys are huge. It had to be one of those Controllers." Rachel gasped.

"Or both of them."

"Shh." Erek shushed us. But lucky him, he could turn off his mechanical smell receptors or whatever the hell he was doing to not pass out on the spot. It wasn't the first time I wished I was an android.

-(You guys? Our distraction is done.)- Jake announced.

"What did they do, collectively fart in the ventilation system!?" I whispered.

-(Prince Jake, I thought you were merely going to start a fire.)- Ax said.

-(Uh…we did…)-

Sure enough, I heard loud stomping noises coming from further down the opposite hall.

-(Well, in addition to the alarming fire, there is a rather pungent odor passing through the hallway. I believe the smell is strong enough to knock out a human child.)-

"Or a human teenager." Rachel wheezed.

There was one of our trademark Animorph awkward silences before Jake responded. -(Ah, well…you see, there may have been stink bombs involved.)-

"Stink bombs?" Rachel, Erek, and I repeated.

-(Stink bombs?)- Ax wondered. I shook my head.

"Later, Ax. Ask them what the hell they were doing with stink bombs."

-(Marco wishes to inquire what you were doing with - )-

-(Long story.)-

"What id dat?!" One of the controllers groaned. We looked around at the Controllers, both of whom had clamped their fingers over their noses.

"I hab do idee-uh." The other said.

"Is id metade?" Controller One asked.

"Whad?"

"Metade! Da gas!"

"Oh. I'b dot berry fabiliar wid da properdies ob Earth Gases." Controller Two admitted shamefully.

Fools, the smell isn't methane. Ax scoffed. It's obviously a mix of nitrog -

"'Ey, is dat smoke?" Controller One looked over in our direction. I had to remind myself that he couldn't see us, but sure enough we smelled smoke. The fire that the others must have started

"Id is smoke. Sub foo' must hab burned subting." Controller Two said dismissively.

"You idiot!" Controller One cried. "Metade is combustible!"

Their eyes widened.

"You stay here." Controller One ordered. "I'll go check whad's goin on." He left his post, fingering his dracon beam as if for reassurance.

"This is it." Rachel whispered.

"What are you going to do? There's still one controller at the door." Erek whispered back.

"Ax is gonna knock him out and we morph him." I reminded him. Rachel may be abnormally strong for a girl, but Ax's human morph was closer to Jake's build. He had the upper body strength that was, admittedly, stronger than mine.

Though I could still kick his ass, if he ever asked for it.

"Did we discuss this at the meeting?!" Erek hissed. He sounded shocked.

-(Yes, I believe Rachel suggested it.)- Ax said.

"She was _serious_?!" Erek was getting dangerously loud now. They might have heard him.

"Of course she was, it was _Rachel_!" I said, ignoring her scowl. "What's the problem Erek? It's not like we're making you doing the knocking out here."

"You don't understand!" Erek shuddered. "I can't help someone knock somebody out....but…"

The Controller turned the corner and gaped at us.

"Um, please tell me he's not staring at us." Rachel murmured.

"Who - ?!"

Ax's fist was too fast, reacting out of pure human adrenaline and shooting out to land a painful uppercut on the guy's chin. He hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, thankfully out of sight, and his hidden dracon beam slid across the floor.

-(Ow.)- Ax winced, cradling his hand. –(But that was rather impressive, human strength.)-

"He saw us!" I fisted my hair in frustration. "He freaking saw us human!"

"Why'd you take the forcefield down?!" Rachel whispered angrily. Erek, who was back in his human disguise, also looked angry.

"I can't inflict violence _or_ aid in violence!" Erek said. "But, since you two weren't the ones doing it, I was able to hide you."

"We _told_ you we were – " Rachel's voice was rising. I clamped a hand on her mouth.

"I thought you were _joking!_ You people are _always_ joking." Erek hissed. "It seemed far too crude to be serious!"

Rachel tried to bite my hand.

"You have to understand." Erek was almost pleading now. "I can't…

"Okay, Erek. We understand." I looked at Rachel and Ax. They both still looked outraged. But apparently, it was my turn to play the Cassie.

He looked as though he didn't believe us, but put the hologram back around us all, anyway. "I can only keep this up as long as there is no violence…but at this point we're looking at some simple 'fool the other controller into letting us in the room' action, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

In my mind I was ridiculously pissed off at our resident bajillion year old android. I knew his capabilities if his stupid programming was rewritten. He took out an entire army Controllers and saved our asses once, barehanded. But no, his eternal memory couldn't handle all the violent memories, so he had to remain how he had been. A pacifist spy.

The irony of it all was way too much for me to deal with right now. I released Rachel's mouth and she shoved me hard into the wall.

"Don't touch me." She threatened through clenched teeth.

"I can't believe you tried to _bite_ me!"

-(Prince Jake, we have a controller unconscious.)- Ax informed the others. -(Everything may still go according to plan.)-

-(Well you all better hurry the hell up.)- Jake warned. –(The fire's going strong.)-

-(Yes, Prince Jake.)-

-(Don't call me Prince.)-

Ax looked at Rachel and me, her still having pinned me to the wall with her freakishly pointy elbows. –(Who will morph this human?)-

"I'll do it." Rachel volunteered, letting me off the wall.

I shrugged. "Whatever."

Ax nodded and Erek wasn't looking at us.

Rachel leaned towards the big unconscious Controller and a minute later, the changes began. The first was her torso, which doubled in size and made her arms and legs look amusingly tiny.

"Spongebob Squarepants." I snickered at the squareness of her body. Then her biceps bubbled over with muscle and I promptly shut up.

Soon, pretty blond Rachel was a big ugly man. Thankfully, Rachel managed to not morph her leotard and reveal way too much big ugly man. Unfortunately, the guy's bulk ripped the legs of Rachel's leotard all the way up near the crotch area. There were just no words.

"Rachel, your, uh, your package is hanging out a little."

Okay, so there were words. Rachel winced and turned around, taking care not to look as she tucker herself – himself – into a more acceptable appearance. Then she looked at her massive arms appreciatively.

"Cool." She commented.

"Great, you can ask him out later." I said dryly. "Just take his clothes and go, already!"

Rachel made a face. "I do not want to see this guy naked." She removed the guy's shirt, her eyes squinched shut, and put it on. The same with his shoes.

"What about the pants?"

"If you think I am taking off his pants you are sadly mistaken, Marco."

-(I will take them off.)- Ax volunteered. Then he looked at the Controller. –(Ah, but I do not know how.)-

All eyes turned to me.

"Are you kidding me?!" I pointed at Erek. "He knows how!"

Erek shook his android head. "Um, hey, this is _your _mission. I'm just the hired help."

I grumbled, looking down at the Controller's vastly unattractive pants. "Oh, all right." I shut my eyes tight like Rachel had and unbuttoned his jeans. Rachel whistled.

"Shut up." I got the pants off and threw them at her, taking care to shield my precious eyes from what lay beneath the Controller's pants.

"That is just ew." Rachel said. She looked at the Controller in his underwear. "Just, ew."

-(I agree.)- Ax said.

-(Um, you guys? Hurry up.)- Jake said urgently.

Rachel slipped the pants on, muttering something about catching crabs or scabies, and peeked around the corner. "Here goes nothing."

"Do we follow her?" I wondered.

-(I don't see why not.)- Ax said. –(We should be closer in case something happens we can get into the room quickly.)-

Erek nodded and we quietly followed Rachel.

"What's going on?" The Controller demanded.

"There's been a fire." Rachel answered. "But its not methane." The Controller's eyes widened.

"Andalites."

"Um, no. Just another stupid teenage prank."

As if on cue, two familiar, chunky guys screeched down the hall, chuckling loudly.

"Come on, Chase, move!"

"Dude, did you see that naked guy?!"

"AHAHAHA!"

They barreled into the storage room and presumably sprinted out the way we had come in. Ax, Erek, and I exchanged confused looks.

"What the hell?" I mouthed. Uh, thank you, God?

"…See?" Rachel said sheepishly.

"Damn kids." The Controller grumbled. "I'll go get them."

"No, wait." Rachel stopped him. "I have orders to go in there." She pointed at the door behind them. The Controller looked at her blankly.

"Why?"

"I, um…fire extinguisher." Rachel answered lamely. "In there."

I stared. Ax stared. Erek stared. Clearly we should have rehearsed this before jumping on in.

"Damn it, I told them we needed those. 'This is only a cover' they said. 'The construction and safety officials are one of us, we don't need to hassle with any mindless human garbage' they said. Well look at them now, needing the stupid fire extinguisher." The Controller totally bought it and brought his hand to the panel, still grumbling about the incompetence of his superiors.

The panel bleeped softly and opened, revealing about a billion little buttons. They all looked the same to me, but the Controller pushed seven specific ones in some order. The two doors slid into the wall, leading into the same brightly lit room. Suddenly the Controller turned to Rachel, suspicion in his stolen eyes.

"Wait, we have a fire extinguisher in there?"

"Um, ye – "

"HEY!"

We all swiveled around to find the other Controller standing at the end of the hall in only his underwear, sporting a nasty bruise on his forehead.

"Uh oh." I said. The dude had recovered way too fast. Must've been all the meat in his head.

"Umm…" Rachel looked lost and cornered, so she did what Rachel does best.

Her fist connected with the Controllers chin and he fell. I looked back at the naked Controller, definitely _not_ noting his happy face boxers, and saw him raise his Dracon beam.

Well, bloody hell.

TSEEW!

Rachel fell to the ground next to the Controller she had knocked out.

"Oh shi – "

Ax looked down on the floor at the fallen Controller and Rachel. He looked at Erek. He didn't have to say anything.

"In the room, Marco." Erek said.

"Wh – "

I didn't get a chance to ask. Instead, Ax shoved me into the room, underneath some big metal table.

Erek's hologram vanished, revealing Ax.

"What the – "

The controller stared, temporarily frozen at the weirdness of having a kid appear out of thin air for the second time. Ax took the moment to quickly grab a Dracon beam from the unconscious controller and shoot it. Apparently the Dracon beams were all set to stun, because I could still see Rachel's breathing, as well as the two unconscious controllers.

I understood. Erek knew the only way out of this was with violence, so he wanted me to get out of sight. Seeing me as human spelled death to us Animorphs, since I could be identified. Ax's human morph, however, didn't have much of a life so it would be less of a blow to see him than me.

When happy-face-boxers was down, I scrambled out of my hiding place to Rachel's side. There was a nasty burn on her chest, but it didn't look life threatening. I shook her hard.

"Rachel, wake up."

Erek looked her over for a moment. "She's okay."

Ax bounded into the room and I heard him fiddling around in there with some things. I wasn't listening, though. My aim at the moment was to get Rachel to demorph.

"Wake up the hell up, come on, man!"

-(Prince Jake the BioFilter has been disabled successfully)- Ax announced. –(But Rachel has sustained some injury, though she is in morph.)-

-(WHAT?!)- Tobias's voice, not Jake's.

-(We're coming in…)- Jake answered briskly.

Suddenly…

BREET! BREET! BREET!

Ax jumped. Whatever he had done in there must have set off some kind of alarm. Figures the yeerks don't have a fire alarm, but they have a "Holy crap, the Andalites are here" alarm.

-(…In battle mode.)- Jake amended.

"Crap." I tried to drag Rachel's humongous body into the room.

"Marco…" Erek looked helpless. He knew that this mission was quickly going all to hell, and he couldn't do much if there was going to be fighting.

"Go." I answered gruffly, trying not to let my bitterness show. He got to leave. It was like, a Get out of jail free card, his limitations.

He left, dejectedly.

When I had finally gotten Rachel's bulk into the room, Ax was an Andalite. He was staring at something, completely disregarding the alarm and the fact that a bunch of armed controllers were about to make their way here in a few seconds. I quickly started to go gorilla.

"What are you looking at?!" I demanded, before my mouth went gorilla and thus useless.

"Are these primitive security cameras?" Ax pointed. Sure enough, an entire section of TV screens faced us.

"Damn it. We need to erase the videos of us!"

I barely had the sentence out of my mouth before Ax's tail whipped into an expensive pile of machinery. He reached a blue Andalite hand into the rip and pulled out several things I didn't recognize. He sliced them.

"Done."

"Wow."

Then, GRAWWWWRR!!! A tiger's roar reverberated down the hallway.

I looked out of the room with my gorilla head and saw Jake in tiger morph tackle a human controller. Behind him, out of the storage room entrance burst a wolf and a Hork-Bajir. The cavalry.

But it was only a matter of time before the yeerks brought out the big guns, i.e. the Hork-bajir. We had disabled their filter, after all.

-(You guys, get in here!)- I yelled. They looked at me and barreled towards my door.

TSEEWW!

They may have been weak human controllers, but they were armed to the teeth. Cassie limped after Jake and Tobias.

-(Cassie!)- Jake turned back and took Cassie' by the nape of her neck like a mother cat carrying a baby.

TSEWWW! TSEWW!

They must have realized there mistake. Keeping a BioFilter up made them unable to guard whatever it was they were guarding with anything but human controllers. Granted, they had dracon beams, but it wasn't enough.

The room was crowded now, jam packed with all us Animorphs.

-(Glad you could make it, would you like some tea?!)- I cried shrilly.

-(Shut the door!)- Jake bellowed. –(Shut the door, shut the door, _shut the door_!)-

Ax didn't respond.

-(AX!)-

-(I've got this)- I looked at the panel on the inside of the door. It didn't look quite as complicated as the one on the outside. In fact, I had definitely seen this kind of lock before.

BAM!

I shoved my gorilla fist into it, twisted and ripped some random wires, and the doors squealed as the slid together.

-(How awesome am I?)-

-(Where's Rachel?!)- Tobias demanded.

-(That would be tall, dark, and ugly over there.)- I pointed at Rachel's unconscious form.

-(Oh, that man is unattractive.)- Cassie couldn't help but comment.

-(Get her to wake up. We're besieged here.)- Jake said impatiently.

-(Besieged? How long have you waited to say that?)- I smirked as a bunch of angry fists banged against the door.

Jake ignored me. –(Ax? Ax, what are you looking at?)-

He didn't answer. His back was to us, staring at some obscure thing in the far corner of the room.

Jake went over by Ax and stopped in his tracks.

-(Um, Jake?)-

Now Jake was silent.

-(Jake? Jake, dude, what are you doing?)-

Cassie looked up from nudging Rachel. –(What's wrong?)- she limped over to Jake's side and stopped as well.

-(Cassie?)- I poked her. –(For real, guys, what are you looking at?) I gently shoved Ax out of the way to see.

And then I was frozen. I couldn't move, couldn't talk, hell I wasn't even sure if I was breathing.

But my eyes were sure as hell working.

Before us, sitting on top of a counter as if it were no more important than a paperweight, was a black crystal no bigger than a Rubix cube. It was the deepest black color, yet it managed to shine as bright as any diamond. Actual black light radiated from it. Not blacklight, like those cheesy hippie decorations, actual black rays shot from its crystal surface. How was this possible? How was it real?

How did it just paralyze us all?

-(You guys?)- Tobias left Rachel's side for a moment. –(What's wrong with you people?)-

He walked over behind us and then I felt a sudden jolt, as if someone had picked me up a couple inches and dropped me again. Then I started to black out and as I fell to the floor, feeling a strange absence of pain as my head hit hard, I saw Tobias still standing.

Alone.

* * *

THE HAPPY KORNER!

LJstagflower4e – I'm _not_ ridiculously outlandish? Excuse me, but I am seriously AFFRONTED by that comment! I BANISH THEE ::banishes ye into a land where Jake and Cassie are mortal enemies::

DawnOfEast – Hi!! Thanks for the non-rustage reassurance. Still I think it will be a while before I get back into the full swing of things…

Korean Pearl – Hola! Yeah, I read all the reviews I hadn't read before, thanks! But yeah, I guess I would've given up on me after so long ::blush:: sorry. As for "How did you get to be so funny", well I just don't know. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I live on top of a former nuclear waste dump though…Thanks for the brackets advice, by the way ::grabs a dead fish and hides it under ffnet's pillow::

Juxapose – Thanks for the welcome! As for whether or not Marco and Rachel will get together, ah, well, I can honestly say………"Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!" :P

SEB – I remember a StinkE Burrito! Is that YOU!? HULLLO! Well you're not the only one to have given up on me, heh. Really sorry about that, by the way ::blush:: You know the more people who say that, the more I feel like I have to prove myself or whatever. Uh-oh. ::spazz::

freak show – I didn't _DIE_ ::pinches self and checks pulse:: yeah, I'm still very much alive! (Evil never dies, muahahahaharr!)

SurrealSerpent1 – Hola! Yeah, I'm back and can I just point out the way you said "Cassie's hot blunts" in your review brought to mind an image that I REALLY did not intend when I wrote it. Heee!

SilentBob546 – Thanks!

East Coast Ryder – You write too? Awesome, I shall go forth and take a look!

Rebell – Hope you enjoy reading through the rest of it!

Dot the Distracted – See "rebell" above.

SouthrnBelle – I will try very hard not to do it again ::blush::

D.H. L'Orange – You remembered it? Wow, awesome dude cause I didn't even remember! Thanks for sticking around ::high five::

Natalie - Hi! Yeah I'm back! And read the disclaimer to what why I was gone for so long! Heh ::smirk::

PhebgaMFM - Cassie is full of surprises, isn't she? Saucy wench ::snicker::. And I'll try not to have another hiatus.


End file.
